Now I fart as much as the next man. Possibly more given that I drink Gloucester Glory beer on a weekend and that can be a bit farty-inducing. Yet I have not drunk any of said brew since Saturday and bizarrely today i have been farting like Red Rum. My diet today featured a grapefruit and an apple for breakfast, fb a beef and onion roll and tomato soup for lunch and scrambled egg and bacon for supper. What in that combination can be responsible for the unholy rumpus in my flipping trousers?? I've had tiger fals and lager fests which have been far less pump-ridden. Is there a flatulogical nurse on here? Is there anything which can cure or ameliorate the farting process? It isn't personally unpleasant and the dog and I have achieved a new level of understanding of what "mutually assured destruction" might mean. However paint is peeling from the door jamb and TFB has blacked out on the sofa, despite my propping the window open. On average these gaseous emissions are ten seconds long and smell faintly of cauliflower cooking. Which is pretty odd as I do not now, nor have I ever eaten cauliflower.