Wimmin and phones

#1
For the third day in a row I've got home to find my missus on the phone, chatting inane sh*t (probably to the talking clock) and NOT cooking my dinner.
How can they find so much to talk about and why is it they only think of all these things AFTER they've got a ring on their finger.
For those of you who have watched Fawlty Towers, Sybil... that's my missus on the phone. Oh, but add in some "emblishments" on what's actually happened and information about me based mainly on half truths (fat, ugly and crap in bed turns into really fat, lazy, ugly tree afflicted and incapable of horizontal jogging).
I'd beat her, but she's made it very clear that if that happens I stop getting dinner. I feel I didn't emotionally destroy her enough early on.
Anyone else had problems with women and their stupid phone habits?
 
#2


like that :?: :?: :?: :?:
 
#3
Crabby leave her alone, she's making some extra pin money doing online cyber and phone sex, only says "ohhhhhhh I knowwwww", when you come into the room as a code word that she can't really talk.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
crabby said:
For the third day in a row I've got home to find my missus on the phone, chatting inane sh*t (probably to the talking clock) and NOT cooking my dinner.
How can they find so much to talk about and why is it they only think of all these things AFTER they've got a ring on their finger.
For those of you who have watched Fawlty Towers, Sybil... that's my missus on the phone. Oh, but add in some "emblishments" on what's actually happened and information about me based mainly on half truths (fat, ugly and crap in bed turns into really fat, lazy, ugly tree afflicted and incapable of horizontal jogging).
I'd beat her, but she's made it very clear that if that happens I stop getting dinner. I feel I didn't emotionally destroy her enough early on.
Anyone else had problems with women and their stupid phone habits?
Duh YEAH! I get home every night and don't get a hello, because she's on the phone, and will be on it for another 45 minutes after I walk in the door. She'll be on it about another 15 times (that and texting) until she goes to bed. The phone will ring (for her), during mealtime, in the middle of a good film or program, whilst I'm reading a book, whilst we are . . . I was going to say shagging, but then I remembered . . . not being able to remember the last time that happened.

I told her in no uncertain terms that I expect a 'Hello' and a kiss when I walk through the door, and anyone that phones up during food time is to be fcuked off forthwith, and that anyone that phones when something good is on the box, or I'm reading my book, can talk to her out in the garden.

I'm THAT close to cutting all the phone wires!!!!
 
#5
and all that stuff about how shite YOU are is so that the inadequate, quivering piece of jelly on the other end feels all hetero-tiger by comparison! :D
 
#6
Great Aerosmith pop video with the same theme - bloke think's he's having great phone sex with some 20 something blonde nympho - when it reality it is a 20 stone 'thing' doing the ironing whilst breast feeding sprong number 10 and having a fag .... priceless
 
#8
Wimmin and phones? I must say I'm a bit disappointed. Was half expecting some pics of half naked chicks in provocative poses, with mobile phones, a la "bikes and wimmin" and "guns and wimmin"!

Oh well........
 
#10
I've 'introduced' a fault on our home phone and her mobile battery is fooked so conversations don't usually last that long.

She's called BT to sort out the phone but they won't deal with her cause of Data Protection. Bonus.

Waffling kunts all of 'em.
 
#13
I was hoping this would be along the same lines as women and guns. Was going to ask Flowers for a photo of herself stradling a Nokia.
 
#14
I've also noticed that they feel this compulsive need to spend phenomenal amounts of money in doing it, as well. There's Skype, VoIP, and that Google internet phone thingy, but they still insist on gassing away for hours WHILE ON THE SAME BLOODY INTERNET SHOPPING SITE AS THE PERSON THEY'RE TALKING TO.

The Jade Dream is a sensible sort, thank God, and not prone to bouts of oestrogen-based 'thinking'. She'll happily natter away for hours to all and sundry, but at least she's doing it for free.
 
#18
My addy is violently insert the said mobile phone in your rectum after you have just come out the field from a 2 week ex.. Then take the face cover off the phone and add a few of your special clugnuts for added effect. My mate put dogsh1t in the old screwcap of mouthpieces of the old type telephones. All you could her was the OC say ' Sergeant Major, a dog has shat in my office but I cant find it and it smells worse when I am on the phone!" Mate, I bet she dont chat for long then....... :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :eek: :D
 
#19
Why is there a thread every few days about a wife not doing her duties? Get them trained properly chaps!
I get home and the dinner is either 5 minutes away from the table (gives me time to go for a piss and get a beer first) or just getting started if I'm going for a run. Plus, the house is always clean and after dinner she does the washing up. And I let her have a proper job (working in a nursery with 2 year olds) too.

Edited to add:
Dumped a previous GF for constantly texting her junkie friend which she used to do even when they shared neighbouring bedrooms at uni.
 
#20
Finding that since our baby was born, Mrs RM is spending far too much time texting and interweb surfing for stuff she does not need as she is claiming its because she is depressed!

can someone advise me on how to resolve this is a non threatening way?
 
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