Will I still get hung if I.....

#1
ditch the day job and become a Highwayman?
I'm a bit bored of my day job and have just watched Plunket and Macleane and the idea of a tricorn hat, trusty stead, pair of Tower pistols, spending my time in some dark tavern having my wicked way with some buxom serving wenches in corsets strangley appeals to me.
However I don't think a bloke on a horse will be able to stop some cvnt in 4x4 on the M1 doing 70mph.

I have thought about becoming a Pirate but I understand it involves a certain amount of buggery, and not the good bugger either! Butt on the plus side, the Royal Navy is so small now they will never catch me :D


Aaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!
 
#2
On the plus side of a life of piracy a large majority of it seems to have been moved to the Strait of Malacca which means you've got loads of fun places like Thailand to spend your ill gotten gains in a suitably dissolute manner. Plus it's the Far East so I wouldn't expect countries like like Indonesia of the Philippines to have much in the way of a decent navy. :)
 
#3
jarrod248 said:
Bully the staff at work for their dinner money - if you do well it may be a good career option for you.
Boll0cks to that, I demand a tricorn hat! :D











{Goes off to search ebay}
 
#6
Brick said:
On the plus side of a life of piracy a large majority of it seems to have been moved to the Strait of Malacca which means you've got loads of fun places like Thailand to spend your ill gotten gains in a suitably dissolute manner. Plus it's the Far East so I wouldn't expect countries like like Indonesia of the Philippines to have much in the way of a decent navy. :)
I like your thinking, but I bet the Crown still issues Lettres de Marques, We could become Arrse Privateers and give the enemies of the Crown a good kicking, 'arf inch their gold and Jewels.
 
#7
LordVonHarley said:
ditch the day job and become a Highwayman?
I'm a bit bored of my day job and have just watched Plunket and Macleane and the idea of a tricorn hat, trusty stead, pair of Tower pistols, spending my time in some dark tavern having my wicked way with some buxom serving wenches in corsets strangley appeals to me.
However I don't think a bloke on a horse will be able to stop some cvnt in 4x4 on the M1 doing 70mph. I have thought about becoming a Pirate but I understand it involves a certain amount of buggery, and not the good bugger either! Butt on the plus side, the Royal Navy is so small now they will never catch me :D


Aaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!
My Bold

I think you will find that at most times of the day a horse stands more than a good chance of catching a 4x4 stuck in slow moving or stationary traffic on the M1 as it seems to be these days and robbery done Hi Ho Silver and all that and up the banking over the fence and gone..

If you need a trusty side kick i'm all for it cos' the Motorway Service Area's have been doing this for years.
Its like the old joke about the company rep pulls in for a cup of tea and a sausage roll, when he gets to the till he appologises to the girl and says that he only has a £50 note. The tells him thtas ok he can just put the sausage roll back then.( crap joke i know but near the truth)
 
#8
tricorn hat vs buggery..... now I'm not one for fashion but I think in this instance it wins. The only problem with robbing people on the highways of Britain is that a certain Mr Broon has already got there first and robbed everyone on the roads. (and he doesn't have the decency to wear a daft hat while riding a horse, I'm outraged)
 
#10
Can you get some of those loverly little boots that all pirates wear and maybe a cape for those moments when you can swirl it around to look
1= Dashing or
2= Menacing.
 
#12
#13
No you won't be hung, you could of course be hanged (see here for different meanings) but never let it be said that you would ever be described as bloody well hung! ;-)

Thje first step of course is to learn the lingo and sound authentic, so I recommend this site and for video training, this site

Careful with the gibberish, though, someone might mistake you for a Guardian journalist or the chief of the Met police, and then you'll have problems!
 
#14
LordVonHarley said:
I like your thinking, but I bet the Crown still issues Lettres de Marques, We could become Arrse Privateers and give the enemies of the Crown a good kicking, 'arf inch their gold and Jewels.
Unfortunately not, it seems when we signed the Treaty of Paris of 1856 that settled the Crimean War we also signed the Paris Declaration Respecting Maritime Law in which we agreed to give up issuing Letters of Marque and Reprisal. Although if the Americans can unilaterally pull out of the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty because they find it a bit inconvenient now then I don't think anyone could complain if decided to quietly withdraw from one that we signed over a hundred and fifty years ago. :)
 
#15
Brick said:
LordVonHarley said:
I like your thinking, but I bet the Crown still issues Lettres de Marques, We could become Arrse Privateers and give the enemies of the Crown a good kicking, 'arf inch their gold and Jewels.
Unfortunately not, it seems when we signed the Treaty of Paris of 1856 that settled the Crimean War we also signed the Paris Declaration Respecting Maritime Law in which we agreed to give up issuing Letter of Marque and Reprisal. Although if the Americans can unilaterally pull out of the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty because they find it a bit inconvenient now then I don't think anyone could complain if decided to quietly withdraw from one that we signed over a hundred and fifty years ago. :)
Looks like we're in business, which countries are we at odds with that need a bit of pilliging. So far I have

1. The French
2. The French
3 The French
4. The Spanish.

Or We could get intouch with our ethnic side and become Vikings and rape and pillige our way across the EU.
 
#16
Now this is getting better by the minute. but if we go down the viking route can we have a boat with an engine because sail boats and rowing aint really my thing not when you can arrive in style by roaring up to the beach and raiding all the bars and clubs in Majorca. :)
 
#17
pyrogenica said:
No you won't be hung, you could of course be hanged (see here for different meanings) but never let it be said that you would ever be described as bloody well hung! ;-)

Thje first step of course is to learn the lingo and sound authentic, so I recommend this site and for video training, this site

Careful with the gibberish, though, someone might mistake you for a Guardian journalist or the chief of the Met police, and then you'll have problems!
Strangley I also say "Drunken" instead of "Drank".
 
#20
LordVonHarley said:
Looks like we're in business, which countries are we at odds with that need a bit of pilliging. So far I have

1. The French
2. The French
3 The French
4. The Spanish.

Or We could get intouch with our ethnic side and become Vikings and rape and pillige our way across the EU.
You know now I think of it the Navy's always moaning about being underfunded and having to mothball ships, might this be a new and interesting highly lucrative alternative money stream? Rotate some SBS bods and booties - they're already trained in boarding tactics - through Indonesia every so often, spend a few months stealing anything afloat that isn't bolted down, split the proceeds with the locals 50/50 to keep them on-side and you'd still probably have enough left over to keep a few extra ships in running costs. ;)
 

Latest Threads

Top