Wife

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by vinniethemanxcat, Nov 24, 2010.

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  1. My Wife has been missing a week now.


    The Police have told me to prepare for the worst..........



    I've had to go to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
     
  2. That made i larrrrffff B-)
     
  3. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    A Hartlepool lass gets on a bus with her baby.
    The bus driver says: “Holy God Missus , that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”

    The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.

    She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

    The man says: “ I know I heard him…that’s completely outrageous!……don’t you stand for it pet ….go on, you go up there and have a right go at him, let him know he’s been a complete twat and make him apologize here and now

    [​IMG]





    ……….... Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
     
  4. Man goes into brothel in Amsterdam and asks the madam for the fattest
    bird with the saggiest tits and a minge like a ripped out old
    fireplace, the madam says "feeling kinky sir?"
    "No" replies the man, "just fucking homesick" !

    A man says to his wife "I had a wet dream about you last night"
    "Aww did you ?" wife replies. "Yeah, I dreamt you were hit by a bus and
    pissed myself laughing"


    happy xmas to all
     
  5. Wifey feels neglected for sex by her hubby, so she buys a pair of crotchless panties, puts them on with a mini skirt and sits opposite him with legs parted. She says to her old man "What are you going to do about this then?" He looks up from his paper and says "That reminds me, I must get that chair re upholstered."
     
  6. Wifey feels neglected for sex by her hubby, so she buys a pair of crotchless panties, puts them on with a mini skirt and sits opposite him with legs parted. She says to her old man "Do you want a bit of this then?" He says " You're joking, aren't you? look what it did to your knickers...."