Wife

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Civvy-Ginge, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. WHAT MEN EXPECT IN A WIFE
    * She will always be beautiful and cheerful.
    * She could marry a movie star, but wants only you.
    * She will have hair that never needs curlers or beauty shops.
    * Her beauty won’t run in a rainstorm.
    * She will never be sick–just allergic to jewelry and fur coats.
    * She will insist that moving the furniture by herself, it’s good for her figure.
    * She will be an expert in cooking, cleaning house, fixing the car or TV, painting the house, and keeping quiet.
    * Her favorite hobbies will be mowing the lawn and shoveling snow.
    * She will hate credit cards.
    * Her favorite expression will be, “What can I do for you, Dear?”
    * She will think you have Einstein’s brain but look like Mr. America.
    * She will wish you would go out with the boys so that she could get some sewing done.
    * She will love you because you’re so sexy.

    WHAT MEN REALLY GET IN A WIFE
    * She speaks 140 words a minute, with gusts up to 180.
    * She was once a model for a totem pole.
    * Where there’s smoke, there she is,..... cooking.
    * She’s a light eater…once it gets light, she starts eating.
    * She lets you know you only have two faults: everything you do, and everything you say.
    * No matter what she does with it, her hair looks like an explosion in a steel wool factory.
    * If you get lost, open your wallet and she’ll find you.