Why you should not give lifts to hitchikers.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bravo_Bravo, May 10, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Some years ago a few chums and I where returning from dropping off some recruits, driving south in a 110 Rover. I was monging it in the back.

    We had reached the stage of abject boredom, when we saw an archtypal soapdodger thumbing a lift, giving us a big vacant grin.

    Being impressed by his neck, we actually stopped and picked him up - I slung his HUGE grip into the back, along with me, and he jumped into the back as well.

    After a while - yes, he was a student - the grown up bit of us surfaced and we thought that we should ask him what was in his grip. The cheeky fcuker actually looked at us, tapped the side of his nooter and said... "keep your farking nose out."

    Must admit, we where a bit surprised and the bag was very big. I looked at the vehicle commander, who asked the same Q - same response... "tap tap, kep your farking nose out."

    Serious voice.. "look, Sir, this is a military vehicle and we demand to know what is in the bag."

    "Tap, tap, keep your farking nose out. " Commander - next time, mag to grid"... me: "understood.."

    "Sir, I need to know now whats in the bag." By now I was imagining drugs, PE, body parts the lot.

    "Tap, tap, keep your FARKING NOSE OUT."On went the brakes, vehicle stopped six minutes later, we hoofed him out of the back of the Rover and drove off.

    He only left the bag in the back, the twaat.
  2. So what was in the bag?
  3. what was in the bag ? a keep your farking nose out.
    that joke is so old
    tell me how did you get back from dunkirk grandad
  4. tap tap, keep your farking nose out....
  5. I know it's age old, but somebody had to keep the childish tw4t amused.
  6. Have you ever had it where you see a lovely lady by the side of the road with her thumb hitched like a cock on viagra,so you pull over she smiles sweetly and before you know it, a skanky old guy who is dripping with p1ss, wearing an old smock and carrying 4 or 5 bags jumps out of the bushes and trys to climb in with his hosed down lady friend!!

    Hitchikers guide to the galaxy(section 5:cars on earth)
    Dont use you ladies as bait, this is unfair and not funny!!