They told me that I would be running around, jumping over car bonnets shooting women and kids in the face......and that was before breakfast. Reality? Kicking of numerous fences, washing of works cars on a regular basis and a growing bitterness and resentment for ACIOs everywhere.
The ACIO told me it was the only part of the Army where I would get away with walking round three sides of a box.
No Aston here,I only got a Marina Twin Carb Coupe that had been badly compromised in Strabane. Unlike Control Spooks who had an almost new MGB GT. I never saw under the hood, but there was a suggestion of twin Webbers and a Janspeed system)
The only reason TMA joined was because of the darkroom consumanbles and NRSA at actuals, whatever that means? He was never an avid collector of Paddington Green Guest Rewards points
Failed the RAF eyesight test....and all that infantry b*ll*cks looked terribly demanding.
Where-else could a chap go?
(Speaking of vehicles, does anyone remember the mini at the Bielefeld section painted lime green...good choice; the only one in the whole of Germany.
How about a separate thread on crap cars that we've used in the job?)
While waiting to see what I could do (having become deeply disheartened with the previous Corps) a 'friend' said that I should join the Int Corps 'cause they had a unit called the Fast Response Unit in N.I who cut around in Lynxs' tooled up waiting for the shit to hit the fan. I was sold straight away.
When it got to ModF 102 training in Ashford, I even approached the Q man giving the training, asking him where on the programme the Lynx and GPMG training was...
The dole were going to demand I stopped working at some point, I'd always hankered after a life in the military and the ACIO was very honest when he said he had no idea what the Int Corps did and , if I was successful, would I mind returning and telling them all about it. I have to say I've loved over two-thirds of it to date, the other less than one third being the rubbish I believe you'd put with in any walk of life.
I wanted to join the Royal Signals as a Radio Technician. But the Army Youth Selection Centre at Harrogate was located within the Royal Signals Apprentices College, and basically they were a bunch of twats. So I though I might try and be an Ammunition Technician in the Royal Army Ordnance Corps, but my maths is so shit I don't play darts because I can't do takeaways. Not one of the Army Education Corps staff new anything about the Int Corps, so I joined to find out for myself. The first real member of the Corps I met was one R** Vicarage (or something like that) and within 20 minutes he taught me how to make an incendiary device using every day kitchen products. The start of a fascinating and varied career.
Afternote: Most Royal Signals personnel are still twats.
The prospect of lounging around an office watching videos with wonderful titles about heros, Soviet Union, I serve etc never realy appealed until I was doing just that on some comfy old map boxes on a hot summers day in Paderborn. What made it even better was that the Monkeys who visited to pick up some maps were all trussed up in no 2s!
As for Aston Martin, our 3/4 and trailor could shift especially during free moves, leading to a number of fines thanks to a lollypop waving member of the gestapo.
I did own a plastic badge that said "Secret Agent" that made me feel important when I wore it!
I went through the TA in London brochure crossing off anything that sounded bonk until I was left with some mob I'd never heard of in Worship St (dates me I know). When I read up on it I realised I quite fancied learning Russian and asked to do so.
It will surprise no-one to learn that, beyond what BMP and BTR stand for, I have not learnt a single word. I blame the Soviet Union, useless so-and-so's couldn't even keep their empire together.
Originally I applied to join the RCT because my mate had already done so and he seemed to be doing well. Recruiting Sgt at the ACIO couldn't disagree but the interviewing officer at the recruit selection centre at Sutton Coldfield had other ideas - he said I would be bored within 5 minutes of joining the RCT. He told me to join the Int Corps despite not knowing exactly what they did. He was probably right.
My recruitment office was a caravan populated by a KOSB sergeant who gave me three options; RCT (Tank Transporter Driver), RAMC (Radiographer) or Int Corps (in fact he gave me the big book and said you choose). I looked and said what does the Int Corps do? He said 'I don't know'. The rest as we say.............