Why no assistance for non married forces families children?

Discussion in 'Charities and Welfare' started by Moodybitch, Jun 15, 2004.

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  1. I appreciate the Army cannot provide help or support for EVERY kid the average squaddie creates....but surely there must be some kind of acknowledgement for non married families?

    If there is let me know...
  2. Yes Gunny...why?

    There is nothing, not even a reference service for non married families.

    I spent 4 years co-habiting with my ex who was serving solider. We have a 2 year old son and there has never been any support for us.....but the 18 year old 'straight out of basic' couples rush into a marriage after a few months and get all support under the sun.
  3. ViroBono

    ViroBono LE Moderator

    Presumably you and your ex were aware of the rules before you both decided a) not to get married and b) to have a baby, so you made informed choices.

    Therefore, you chose to be outside the military support system.
  4. The mob caters for married families, not every Tom Dick and Harry who fancies a bit of privacy shagging outside of his 4 man room.

    What exactly is the MoDs obligation to you?

    You remark that the Army can't 'cater for every kid that the average squaddie creates'. Such a low opinion of the average squaddie.

    Why should the Army cater for the likes of you? What makes you so special? You're not the only camp follower who got pregnant by 'the average squaddie' (as you call them).

    You seem of be of the opinion that the MOD owes you because one of its employees impregnated you. Would you feel the same way if he was employed by the Post Office or Boots the Chemist?

    Why shouldn't the 18 yr old soldiers who rush into marriage benefit from the system? You appear to have a low opinion of such people, but you were nothing more than the common law wife of an 'average squaddie', who was daft enough to get pregnant by him.

    In answer to your question ......there is no assistance for the likes of you.

    Try the council.
  5. Well said Baddass.
  6. Wasn't there a recent thread re the CSA and this was all discussed then?

    I also note a few changed opinions......... :?
  7. Yeah, Blondedick.
  8. Purple_Flash

    Purple_Flash War Hero Moderator

    Actually, you are not even a 'common law' wife - that is a common misconception. Common Law wives ceased to exist with the introduction of the Marriage Act in 1763.

    You have no rights as a wife under civil law, so why should you expect special rights from the army? If you want to have rights there is the simple remedy of having a contract for living together, it's caled marriage. Go to a registry office, get it done for a small fee and then you can claim all the rights you want.

    Rights spring from responsibilities, if you are not committed enough to accept the responsibilities of marriage, you have no marriage rights. Simple.

    If you are in doubt as to the validity of this position, you might like to preuse this URL:
  9. No response?

    Her and junior were probably hoping for another 'average squaddie' to plump up as a meal ticket.

    Try the Navy, dear. 'Any port in a storm' and all that.
  10. Ok, firstly it would seem that my original post on here has been taken the wrong way entirely!

    When I was griping about support, I did not mean financial...I meant emotional support, being kept uptodate.

    Baddas, lets please get one thing straight - I earn 40k per annum and have not and never will need to go cap in hand to either the Army OR the Council thank you.

    I was actually expecting someone to give me a website or even telephone number to perhaps refer to in cases of finding out info etc when partners on ops, for the sake of our son. Non-married forces families do not have the benefit of the support of the families officer etc, this was my point - certainly not financial or otherwise.

    I would also like to point out, that while my comments about 'average squaddies' etc must have been viewed as potentially offensive...baddass please do not insult my intelligence by insisting that the army and its personnel are whiter than white - we both know different.

    I did not 'get myself pregnant' as you put it...the decision to start a family was a mutual planned one, after 2 years together. Not a quick screw as you must prefer to view it.

    Obviously my intention and request for information has been entirely misconstrued..I apologise for not making myself clearer in that respect.

    But what a shame you all fired off derogatory comments before even clarifiying with me that we were discussing the same thing.

    Obviously, you, Baddass, think all civvy girls are just after a house from the army? Speaking from experience?

    And a message to Susie...I have noticed that you post alot on here and you too are a civvy. I would have expected you to perhaps understand what I was getting at, but perhaps you do not have any direct experience with living with a serving solider.

    Maybe that would explain why you only agree with whats being siad at the time by the soliders that post on here, instead of having an opinion of your own.
  11. Moodybitch
    I think if you actually had read my posts I am invariably saying something each time from a slightly different angle from the soldiers here.
    I do in fact have direct experience of living with a serving serviceman-
    but you are right; I was not his 'live in woman', I was his wife.
    I understand that you chose to cohabit with a soldier and have his illegitimate child without the protection that marriage affords.That was your decision and your choice.
    On this occasion Baddass seemed to cover the facts very well and adding my agreement was all that was required.
    A girlfriend is not a wife.

  12. ViroBono

    ViroBono LE Moderator

    Units generally provide a point of contact for dependants/family to call when Ops are on - your ex would need to provide this to you.

    Additionally, all soldiers are issued with cards showing details of the compassionate procedure, perhaps important in your case if anything were to happen to your son. Again, it's your ex's responsibility to give you the card.
  13. Viro_Bono

    Thank you for your help, thats all I needed.
  14. thats because they got married.