Why Men are Never Depressed!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Frangipano, Jan 9, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Men Are Just Happier People--
    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    Chocolate is just another snack..
    You can never be pregnant.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    The world is your urinal.
    You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.
    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    Same work, more pay.
    Wrinkles add character.
    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    One mood all the time.

    Ph one conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    You know stuff about tanks and engines.
    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    You can open all your own jars.
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack.
    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    You never have strap problems in public.
    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    Everything on your face stays its original colour.
    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    You only have to shave your face and neck.

    You can play with toys all your life.
    One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache..

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

    No wonder men are happier. :D
  2. LOL the only time when I get depressed is when I have to listen to a yaking fcuking female..like as now
  3. So much beer in the world - so little time - how could anyone get depressed ....
  4. Not me!

    My nut sack is a bald as Jade Goody!
  5. I love the way men think they are so lucky when women go through childbirth and smears and stuff.

    Then they get old and have an enlarged prostate and get a docs finger up their bum and a nurse catheterising them - oh I chuckle to myself every time I go towards them with the catheter. lol.
  6. I often lie to my Doc just she will finger my pooh pincher! and as for the catheter, its better than having to stand up to wee!

    win win