Why MDN Cant Help Himself

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Nov 3, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Here it is, Scientific proof that MDN is hard-wired and unable to control himself.

    It's in the genes, see.. it goes back to his avian ancestors

    Pennsylvania State University Scientists discovered that male turkeys, when placed in a room with a lifelike model of a female turkey, mated with the surrogate as eagerly as if it was the real thing. In an experiment to see what the minimum sexual stimulus would be, they progressivly removed parts of the model one by one until the male bird finally lost interest.

    tail, feet, wings all taken off, but still the bird waddled up, let out a mating gobble and did its thing. they finally got it down to a head on a stick..In fact the turkey preferred a head on a stick to a headless body.

    " Men, without exception, are shallow, priapic skunks. A man would shag a ham sandwich if no one was looking"-
    C. Brooker, Guardian Journalist
  2. Not tried the ham sandwich thing.
  3. Ham sandwiches with course grain mustard is like shagging a dirty on blob Guardian journalist.
  4. I believe that MDN would do the ham sandwich while people were looking, probably in preference to taking the sandwich somewhere secluded.

    and he'd eat it
  5. Ham is nice, especially with mustard, but I'd baulk at introducing Colman's to my c0ck.
    Ham is also nice with thinly sliced mature cheddar, tomato and a bit of ground black pepper.
  6. I'd suggest most ARRSErs would prefer shagging a ham sandwich laced with razor-blades to shagging this (former) Grauniad journo:

    The 'lovely' and 'enlightened' Kira
  7. do you still get compo sausages
  8. Not true, I'd happily do her. Two conditions, though:

    1. The sandwich gets to watch.
    2. I don't have to respect her in the morning.
  9. I thought this thread had something to do with incontinence pants
  10. I'd do her.

    Though I might feel compelled to wipe my c*ck on her face afterwards.

    On second thoughts, if the ham were gently warmed so that it remained moist then placed inside a cardboard toilet paper roll (a la RN) it would probably be a lot more satisfying than the journo and I could look at an attractive woman on the internet while I was doing it.

    I wouldn't have to listen to any self important, attention seeking, feminist claptrap either.

  11. She's still higher on the list than you.
  12. Of that I have no doubt.
  13. Fugly

    Fugly LE DirtyBAT


    I want my thread back! :D
  14. Surely the warmed ham sandwich with a hint of chopped tomato would be akin to the sampling of a choirboy who has rushed his food?

    I mean the post coital visual aspect of one's b'lend?
  15. Are you qualified for red wings if the tomato is juicy