Why I Love Hollywood

#1
The Silver Screen is the thing of dreams... Why??

Reloading and cleaning weapons is unecessary

Grenades have a 30 second fuse if you're a goody

Ugly tw@s pull fit birds because they are sensitive

You can beat the truth out of prisoners

You never need to shite

All the girly's you have to work with are fit

Your hardest memories have a cool soundtrack
 
#3
Being able to crawl through 300m of sh1t and still come out looking fit for CO's parade.
The old ARRSE adage of never letting the truth get in the way of a good story.
Being able to hit a moving target at 200m with a pistol fired from the hip.
Being able to hack into any top security computer anywhere in the world within 10 seconds of logging on.
And most of all being able to get the knickers off of any girl before the end of the film, how do they do it?
 

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