why i dint let the wife wash the car

My wife cleaned a bit of bird poo off my car for me once, bless her. I would have been very grateful, as bird shite is very corrosive and fucking murders paint work, she did however use a scouring pad, removed the lacquer and the top layer of paint.
Her little favour left a fist sized patch on the drivers door that stood out like a sore thumb........

She couldn't understand why I was pissed off, and threatened to never wash the car again.......

Fucking cunt......then (out of spite I'm sure) she crashed into her mums shogun a couple of weeks later.
"I was trying to help."
"It wasn't done on purpose."
"You ungrateful sod!"
"It's only a *."

*insert item she's fucked up

Funny, none of these seem to help at the time.
Once upon a time, in the great land of Tidworth by the Sea, on a frosty morning, I caught my next door neighbour attempting to put hot water on my very, very pristine and well looked after Maestro so he could clear the ice off the windscreen.

I think he still bears the scars of getting the water chucked over him.

He was also late for work, so I charged him.
I think the students have arrived.

Get your tin foil hats on kids, and fasten your seatbelts. No flash photography and keep your arms inside the car at all times.

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