1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog's parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. 6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day. 7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk. 8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, 'If I died, would you get another dog?' 9. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away. 10. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert. 11. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting. And last, but not least: 12. If a dog leaves, it won't take your stuff.