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Why does the Army hate RMP?

#1
I had the honour of serving my time with an RMP cap badge although only three years with the corps then I got a better offer and went flying with the AAC,

In my time with the corps, I don't recall hearing of any serviceman that got gripped by an MP that didn't have it coming, I used to nick soldiers in BAOR for drunk driving, assaulting others, thieving and so on, I never nicked anyone for service discipline type stuff, that was unit RP's job so far as I was concerned, I personally couldn't give a shit if you didn't salute Ruperts or walk with hands in pockets, so why would anyone hate me? If you got nicked for drunken driving, tough shit, if you get locked up for drunkenness type stuff, it is always better than getting a beatin of GCP for the same thing - or shot as I recall one poor bugger, so what's your problem?

So, seriously what's your problem with RMP, Oh, and BTW, never did mind being called a monkey, if you understand where it comes from, neither would you!

Not interested in hearing deranged bleating from morons, reasoned arguments please. I suspect the Rabid 'Monkey Haters' are the knuckle dragging types that can't string logical arguments together anyway.
 
#4
I had the honour of serving my time with an RMP cap badge although only three years with the corps then I got a better offer and went flying with the AAC,

In my time with the corps, I don't recall hearing of any serviceman that got gripped by an MP that didn't have it coming, I used to nick soldiers in BAOR for drunk driving, assaulting others, thieving and so on, I never nicked anyone for service discipline type stuff, that was unit RP's job so far as I was concerned, I personally couldn't give a shit if you didn't salute Ruperts or walk with hands in pockets, so why would anyone hate me? If you got nicked for drunken driving, tough shit, if you get locked up for drunkenness type stuff, it is always better than getting a beatin of GCP for the same thing - or shot as I recall one poor bugger, so what's your problem?

So, seriously what's your problem with RMP, Oh, and BTW, never did mind being called a monkey, if you understand where it comes from, neither would you!

Not interested in hearing deranged bleating from morons, reasoned arguments please. I suspect the Rabid 'Monkey Haters' are the knuckle dragging types that can't string logical arguments together anyway.
This thread has been done before.

By someone funnier.
 

napier

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
#7
In Bosnia in 199X I had occasion to ask the BPO for a little bit of understanding with regard to some of my guys caught in the female accom area in XXXX. This occurred because my chaps/girls were making a bit of noise and pissed off another female (who happened to be shagging a monkey). The BPO, a particularly toxic (and ugly) female major, accused me of attempting to pervert the course of justice. I therefore made it my main effort to go through the evidence with a fine toothcomb. I was partially successful, and got 2 of them off because of conflicting RMP statements. Unfortunately my senior bloke was up in front of the Brigadier and was found guilty. All fine and dandy so far. The Brigadier, on conclusion of questioning, asked the bloke (in front of me) "I want you to think carefully before you answer this question..was (me) there?" My bloke answered (truthfully) "no". The Brig then turned to me and said "good, because if you had been I'd have sacked you". It transpired that the RMP were suspicious of my efforts on my guys' behalf and had assumed that I was trying to cover up for myself; I was never questioned, but they had intimated this to the Brigadier.

Now that is why we hate monkeys.
 
#10
Cant think of enough words..oh hang on..hmmmm..Bigoted, self important, liars, deceitful, corrupt, false, ..hows that for starters...oh forgot about disloyal, traitorous turncoat *****....
 
#12
I'm not a huge fan of monkeys but I think they are quite clever in being able to hang onto tree's using their tails and the ones in Gibraltar who nick stuff from the tourists :)
 
#13
I don't hate the RMP it’s just my experience with them was always adversarial, for some reason they always seemed to think the Jocks were guilty, how stereotypical!
 
P

PrinceAlbert

Guest
#14
More importantly, why do the RMP hate each other?

It's a conundrum that's up there with "why don't all the French commit suicide once they learn that they're French?"
 
#15
In Bosnia in 199X I had occasion to ask the BPO for a little bit of understanding with regard to some of my guys caught in the female accom area in XXXX. This occurred because my chaps/girls were making a bit of noise and pissed off another female (who happened to be shagging a monkey). The BPO, a particularly toxic (and ugly) female major, accused me of attempting to pervert the course of justice. I therefore made it my main effort to go through the evidence with a fine toothcomb. I was partially successful, and got 2 of them off because of conflicting RMP statements. Unfortunately my senior bloke was up in front of the Brigadier and was found guilty. All fine and dandy so far. The Brigadier, on conclusion of questioning, asked the bloke (in front of me) "I want you to think carefully before you answer this question..was (me) there?" My bloke answered (truthfully) "no". The Brig then turned to me and said "good, because if you had been I'd have sacked you". It transpired that the RMP were suspicious of my efforts on my guys' behalf and had assumed that I was trying to cover up for myself; I was never questioned, but they had intimated this to the Brigadier.

Now that is why we hate monkeys.
A perfect example of what I was going to say which is that they are unprofessional (and that's as polite as I'm going to be).
 
#16
I liked the full screw MP that took the time to show me where I was supposed to be going when I got lost in Catterick Garrison one night. He was very helpful.

However the L/Cpl that stopped me for suspected drink driving (I'd done nowt wrong, it was an excuse) in Colchester and then accused me of being a smart arse when I perfectly honestly said I hadn't had a drink for several weeks was an utter ****. He insisted on a breath test. Went through my vehicle and despite finding nothing wrong reported me to my Platoon Commander who had just turned up and seen me for being "disrespectful" anyway.

Not all MPs are *****, but the reputation is not entirely unearned.
 

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