Why do men die first?

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by Abdiel, Sep 19, 2010.

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  1. why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation.

    If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
    If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
    If you work too hard, there's never any time for her.
    If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
    If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
    If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, its equal opportunity.

    If you mention how nice she looks, its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, its male indifference.
    If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.
    If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
    If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If SHE asks you, it's a favour.
    If you appreciate the female form and sexy underwear, you're a pervert. If you don't, you're gay.

    If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist. If you don't, you're unromantic.
    If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.
    If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
    If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself. If you don't, you're not ambitious.
    If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
    If you want it too often, you're oversexed. If you don't, there must be someone else.

    why do men die first?

    Because they want to!
     
  2. Well they come first so why not go first?
     
  3. F_N

    Didn't realise it was a race, although I must admit it's not one I've ever lost!!
     
  4. Men die first because we need the rest after doing all the hard work.

    Women have the babies because they fcuking deserve it!

    Tin lid on. INCOMING!!
     
  5. You would think that men died last because we are biologically capable of contributing our genetic material until the latter half of our life.

    Whereas women have the menopause and become biologically and functionally useless, much like my mum.
     
  6. Good job we go first would hate to be left hanging around like my old dad was. Women have 'phones and friends - what do we have ?
     
  7. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    we die first to get a break from all the nagging.
     
  8. Porn..............
     
  9. Like it Sinner , like it :)
     
  10. Au contraire, the menopause allows women to look after their grandchildren thus making their daughters more effective breeders. In the context of the hunter gatherer society, which is where evolution happened, this makes them more useful than men who are too old to hunt.
     
  11. we die fist because we are totaly knackerd tryin to please women.
     
  12. Whilst it's true that women live longer, the majority of of them are in Dementia Care Homes eating mushy food and wearing nappies. They mostly have been in there for at least five years before the husband's death, which was brought about by having five years of catching up on 40yrs of missed shagging, drinking and gambling.
     
  13. [​IMG]
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    That's why !!!
     
  14. Trust an Aussie!
     
  15. Why? :)

    Mind you, they can't help but come first, they haven't the expertise to hold back. ;-P