Why do I look pregnant and how can I lose it?

Discussion in 'Health and Fitness' started by TheIronDuke, Oct 24, 2007.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    One of my blessings is being a natural ectomorph, or a long streak of piss as my mates will have it. Never needed to diet or excercise much to stay in shape.

    Until a couple of years ago when I caught sight of myself in a pub mirror and thought "Where the frock did THAT come from?"

    A slight paunch starting at my sternum and ending just below my belly button. Not a full-on pot belly, but it never used to be there.

    Its not fat before somebody says "Lay off the pies. If I tense my gut there is maybe 1/2" of fat then its muscle. But my guts seem to have expanded. And I dont like it.

    Any suggestions on how I can lose it welcome. Ideally not involving joining a gym, and a Personal Trainer is something best left to the ladies in my view.
  2. Lyposuction..... fattie!
  3. It's just life I'm afraid, one minute your'e a lean mean fighting machine then one day you wake up to realise your a fat B*stard!

    You must embrace the dark side and eat more pies!

    Use the Fork!
  4. If its not fat, and your are not severely famished (air filled belly) then you are either pregnant or have eaten too much dry porridge. There: mystery solved.

  5. Genetics. Unlucky.

    Go join a gym and get some muscle on you!
  6. Have a good dump!
  7. Do you drink alot?
  8. Have a Caesarian.
  9. It might be something irritating the lining of your bowel. That'll puff you up like a puffed-up puffy thing. Or possibly you've developed a lactose intolerance, which I'm told is not unheard of in adults. Eat plain foods and avoid dairy for a few days and see if it goes down.

    If not, make sure he wears a condom next time.
  10. Gluten/wheat intolerance, possibly coeliacs disease...

    In adults symptoms include:

    Weight loss with pale, offensive diarrhoea;


    Abdominal bloating with wind

    Half of adults with coeliac disease do not have any of these bowel symptoms. They approach their doctor because of:

    Extreme tiredness – which is a sign of anaemia

    Psychological problems like depression

    Bone pain and sometimes even fractures – which are due to thinning of the bones

    Ulcers in the mouth

    A blistering, itchy skin rash mostly on the elbows and knees, called dermatitis herpetiformis.

    My mother was diagnosed with this in her forties. It's not fun, but if you suffer from any of these symptoms it may be of benefit to be checked by a Doctor - It's not fun if left untreated.
  11. PICOLAX............

    or www.britmilfit.com

    Or like me your just a large build barsteward.....
  12. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Have a good dump indeed. My bowels are a well oiled machine. 10 minutes after rising, every morning. Blunt at one end, curly at the other. Unless I've been at the Vindaloo in which case I can pebble dash a council house.

    Yes. 2 or 3 cans most nights, but if I'm out its G&T, so I dont think its a beer gut. And I dont have symptoms so I dont think i have a mystery illness.

    Funny thing is, if I stand right - chest out, back in, arms hanging off the back of my shoulders - it all but vanishes. Maybe thats the answer. Pretend I am an ex RSM? "Bad posture made me a Walt. Honest"
  13. WTF does offensive mean? Does it climb out of the toilet and abuse you or your kids???? Does it sit there and call you fat arrse?? FFS! We have offensive turd syndrome now?
  14. Either..

    1. Don't look at yourself in pub mirrors
    2. Stop drinking
    3. Quit worrying about it (you'll be dead in a few decades anyway)

    Hope this helps
  15. There is a body of thought that points at the CO2 as a culprit as it is fairly easy to find thin blokes with an obesce abdomen, the BBC had some guff on this a while back.