Why do Continenal crisps never go stale?

This has been bothering me for ages, and was just brought to life again when I noticed, under the bed, a pack of crisps, large size, that I'd last had a go at 3 days ago. Rather than their British counterparts, who would have got soggy and soft in all of 6 hours, these still live up to the description "crisp". And they aren't unique, most continental potato snacks can weather a few days of neglect with no ill effects. What went wrong with the humble British spud?
Actually its because continental crisps are made with Asbestos.
Have you ever seen the film Soylent Green? yummy :D
Market forces innit.

No properly blubbery Britisher confronted with a jumbo sized sack of fat laden munchies can resist scoffing the lot. The continental crisp has to have enough E numbers to survive sitting around in unloved bowls for days on end as the natives distract themselves with cycling, social democracy and sexual innovation.
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