Why do British squaddies have such shyte nicknames?

At snow queen in 1977, one of our 4 instructors was as black as Newgates knocker, affectionately known to one and all as "Snowy" held in great affection by the boys and girls of BFES and the teachers alike. Top bloke
I vaguely remember a black guy in Hohne nicknamed Cilla.
 
Christ, 13 pages in and no Sabot? Every Armoured unit had a Sabot, I think it was in AGAIs.
 
In 2RTR, we had a Clutchbolt, a very skinny Medic Dracula. A long serving Provost Sgt was "Sheriff".
A lad of Polish ancestry with an unpronounceable surname, he had two name tags on his coveralls, even the Colonel called him by it.. "Fred". A legend in the Regt went by the name "The Mong".
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
In 2RTR, we had a Clutchbolt, a very skinny Medic Dracula. A long serving Provost Sgt was "Sheriff".
A lad of Polish ancestry with an unpronounceable surname, he had two name tags on his coveralls, even the Colonel called him by it.. "Fred". A legend in the Regt went by the name "The Mong".
You know you have arrived when the CO uses your nickname
 
In my second career I had some dealings with a RAF Regt Reserve Sqn. I had a query about a bloke with a four-syllable Polish name with more consonants than vowels, and before ringing I carefully rehearsed the pronunciation. The WO who had answered the phone congratulated me on my pronunciation saying:

"You said it just like he does. The lads call him Batco, not quite sure why."

Being ex-Signals, it was coffee and keyboard time at my end.
 
A WRAF girl on Costal Command suffered from an extremely large nose. Nicknamed Autolacus.

CFB
Take an Orange from the box.
 

Bad Smell

Swinger
Many years ago another section had a Christmas do and decided to bring in a working girl for entertainment. After they had all had their way with her, the new bloke was last to go. Apparently he did not like the idea of sticking his old fellah in amongst where others had been. Decided to go down on her instead.

I only ever knew him by the name of Gash.
 
Did anyone have a token black fella in their squadron? Did he have a nickname?
There used to be a Sri Lankan comms officer in the London RNR nicknamed Sooty. It was a contraction of his real, unpronounceable, name but it still wouldn't happen today.
 

Bad Smell

Swinger
Speaking of Aussie names, our indoor cricket team had a Deano, Johno, Stewey, Mickey (Rooney), Mulla, Greeny, Burt and a Brooce.

Then there was a Cpl with a nickname of Spook. Something to do with a preference for girls of colour.
 

Bad Smell

Swinger
Did anyone have a token black fella in their squadron? Did he have a nickname?
Had a fellow trainee called Metho. Short for methylated spirits.

Also an officer with a French surname. He was an arrogant cock and simply known as the black c*nt.

Then there was Johno. A good friend and still see him occasionally.
 

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