Why did the Hedgehog cross the road

#1
So he could find his way into my garden, seek out my discreetly buried dogplop bin, fall in and drown in shite..

Mrs SC is actually blubbing at the mo. I however, am covered in chemical dogplop destroyer and rancid shite - and I now own a black bag containing a very bloated, dead spiky thing.

*Edited for mong spelling.
 
#3
spent_case said:
So he could find his way into my garden, seek out my discreetly buried dogplop bin, fall in and drown in shite..

Mrs SC is actually blubbing at the mo. I however, am covered in chemical dogplop destroyer and rancid shite - and I now own a black bag containing a very bloated, dead spiky thing.

*Edited for mong spelling.
Second best read of the day.
 
#5
send it to bob ainsworth as an indication of how loved he is by the Forces.
 
#7
I'm outraged that a Hedgehog, a much loved native creature, is mentioned in the same sentence as Bob Ain't Worth It!
 
#8
Thank you for sharing!
 
#10
spent_case said:
So he could find his way into my garden, seek out my discreetly buried dogplop bin, fall in and drown in shite..

Mrs SC is actually blubbing at the mo. I however, am covered in chemical dogplop destroyer and rancid shite - and I now own a black bag containing a very bloated, dead spiky thing.

*Edited for mong spelling.
If you weren't married, you could just let it rot into a hideous amorphous mass of vileness. The opening scenes of 'Withnail and I' spring to mind...
 
#12
auscam said:
spent_case said:
So he could find his way into my garden, seek out my discreetly buried dogplop bin, fall in and drown in shite..

Mrs SC is actually blubbing at the mo. I however, am covered in chemical dogplop destroyer and rancid shite - and I now own a black bag containing a very bloated, dead spiky thing.

*Edited for mong spelling.
If you weren't married, you could just let it rot into a hideous amorphous mass of vileness. The opening scenes of 'Withnail and I' spring to mind...
Here in lies the problem. The binmen turned up yesterday morning and they only collect once a fortnight...

What to do with the unfortunate spiky chap? Answers on a postcard please.
 
#14
Ram it up your MP's arrse. Sideways.
 
#16
Markintime said:
theoriginalphantom said:
Ram it up your MP's arrse. Sideways.
If the hedgehog had been given the choice of ways to die which do you think he would choose:

Drown in doggy toilet or petshopped up an MP bum?
Maybe it was suicide as it knew it was going to be rammed up an MP?
 
#17
spent_case said:
So he could find his way into my garden, seek out my discreetly buried dogplop bin, fall in and drown in shite..

Mrs SC is actually blubbing at the mo. I however, am covered in chemical dogplop destroyer and rancid shite - and I now own a black bag containing a very bloated, dead spiky thing.

*Edited for mong spelling.
Your dog has its own toilet? Now that is posh? Ours sh1ts everywhere, did it take you long to train it to use it, does it leave the seat up?

As for the hedgehog, you should have left it in there, it would have turned into a nice soup in a couple of weeks add a touch of liquid Nitrogen (wear thick gloves) and you could have something to rival Heston Bloomineck's Snail Porridge
 

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