Why are you here??

#1
Its Saturday night - its half past 9 - why are you here and not out on the lash???
 
#3
Ah - well pointed out!!
 
#4
loubella said:
Its Saturday night - its half past 9 - why are you here and not out on the lash???
Because I'm sat watching Jimmy Carr's new stand up, drinking Magners and looking forward to trimming my wife's oh so sweet cunt before eating it like a ripe peach.
I'll probably do a "two in the goo, one in the poo" whilst licking her clit. Only when she's cum will I stuff my b;loated, pre-cum dripping cock into her willing cunt.
Any more stupid questions you dozy bitch?
 
#5
threaders_vm said:
loubella said:
Its Saturday night - its half past 9 - why are you here and not out on the lash???
Because I'm sat watching Jimmy Carr's new stand up, drinking Magners and looking forward to trimming my wife's oh so sweet cunt before eating it like a ripe peach.
I'll probably do a "two in the goo, one in the poo" whilst licking her clit. Only when she's cum will I stuff my b;loated, pre-cum dripping cock into her willing cunt.
Any more stupid questions you dozy bitch?
For the above read, I've got no mates, no bird and no life except acting like a fcuking retard on ARRSE you nobhead
 
#6
Im in a different time zone ( you know with this internet stuff- goes round the world in a second, or so I am told)

So Im off out to the local in a few mins, mind wish I had sloppy second on
threaders_vm's bit .
 
#7
Have you any idea how far I'd have to go to find a boozer that isn't full of alcopop swigging chav cnuts?
 
#8
threaders_vm said:
loubella said:
Its Saturday night - its half past 9 - why are you here and not out on the lash???
Because I'm sat watching Jimmy Carr's new stand up, drinking Magners and looking forward to trimming my wife's oh so sweet cunt before eating it like a ripe peach.
I'll probably do a "two in the goo, one in the poo" whilst licking her clit. Only when she's cum will I stuff my b;loated, pre-cum dripping cock into her willing cunt.
Any more stupid questions you dozy bitch?

It's half past nine on a Saturday night.

Any chance of a twos up
 
#9
theoriginalphantom said:
Have you any idea how far I'd have to go to find a boozer that isn't full of alcopop swigging chav cnuts?
About 4 miles.

I am in because I am waiting for ThreadersVM to give me a trim.

Oh, and because I have been driving all day and, yes, before you start, the car looks even more like a skip.
 
#10
dryroasted said:
theoriginalphantom said:
Have you any idea how far I'd have to go to find a boozer that isn't full of alcopop swigging chav cnuts?
About 4 miles.

I am in because I am waiting for ThreadersVM to give me a trim.

Oh, and because I have been driving all day and, yes, before you start, the car looks even more like a skip.
and at 20 quid each way in a taxi...

could use a local doss house though, its a bit of a tip, but its cheap to stay in..
 
#11
Black-Mafia said:
For the above read, I've got no mates, no bird and no life except acting like a fcuking retard on ARRSE you nobhead
So what's your excuse Jean Paul? Don't tell me........

You're on the rigs.

Yeah cheers. You're a geek sat at home with your mum. Your IP address is in Rutland you mong.

Froggy craphat cunt.
 
#13
I am affluently challenged at the moment so I have taken to browsing the arrse forums & watching Der Untergang on TV.

It is a great shame that my once highly eventful social life has been reduced to this tragic status. But I have recently realised that attempting to meet any girly worth her salt in a nightclub, whilst highly intoxicated, is a forgone conclusion. Therefore, I have decided to stay in for a bit & consider investing in cucumber shaped y fronts & a tweed jacket so I might hang around the more toffy parts of London & get noticed by posh ladies.

I remain &tc,

~Vesper
 
#14
theoriginalphantom said:
dryroasted said:
theoriginalphantom said:
Have you any idea how far I'd have to go to find a boozer that isn't full of alcopop swigging chav cnuts?
About 4 miles.

I am in because I am waiting for ThreadersVM to give me a trim.

Oh, and because I have been driving all day and, yes, before you start, the car looks even more like a skip.
and at 20 quid each way in a taxi...

could use a local doss house though, its a bit of a tip, but its cheap to stay in..
Plus some muppet has now installed broadband, bonus. And I get to shite in her knicker drawers.
 
#15
threaders_vm said:
loubella said:
Its Saturday night - its half past 9 - why are you here and not out on the lash???
Because I'm sat watching Jimmy Carr's new stand up, drinking Magners and looking forward to trimming my wife's oh so sweet cunt before eating it like a ripe peach.
I'll probably do a "two in the goo, one in the poo" whilst licking her clit. Only when she's cum will I stuff my b;loated, pre-cum dripping cock into her willing cunt.
Any more stupid questions you dozy bitch?
So you'll taking it in the ass for £2 a pop like usual then?

And as for what I'm doing here? I'm married, the boss is preggers and I don't intend giving her any reasons to completely lose it, she thinks up enough reasons for herself. :(
 
#16
because my mother and father had sex
 
#17
Fallschirmjager said:
Black-Mafia said:
For the above read, I've got no mates, no bird and no life except acting like a fcuking retard on ARRSE you nobhead
So what's your excuse Jean Paul? Don't tell me........

You're on the rigs.

Yeah cheers. You're a geek sat at home with your mum. Your IP address is in Rutland you mong.

Froggy craphat cunt.
You sticking up for ya bum chum then , yeah I'm not on an oil rig I'm sat in on Saturday night cos I got no bird and no life bet like you and threaders
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#18
loubella said:
Its Saturday night - its half past 9 - why are you here and not out on the lash???
I've got no legs and the kids have let the air out my wheelchair tyres.
 
#20
Ive reached the point where I just cant be arrsed anymore. yeah I could go out and get shiitfaced, act like a twat and try and pull some syphilitic fat bird, but who cares anymore?

Also because arbyette isnt letting me and if I leave the house and open my english mouth, the very angry tartan army might use me as a hakey sack for a few hours.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
S The Intelligence Cell 0
msr The Intelligence Cell 14
woopert The Intelligence Cell 83

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top