Why are tradesmen *****?

MrBane

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#1
This does my fucking tits in.

Need urgent glazing work done. Full house refit including patio doors..the house is 3 hours away, so I made touch with a few folk when I was last up.

Lots of promises, interests in the work, agreement to schedules, etc. All positive.

I ask for quotes.

It goes to shit.

People not getting back to me, giving me patrial quotes, asking far too much, generally being shit, suddenly deciding they can't do it.

So the tight window I've got, is now even tighter because yesterday, one of the leading horses in this fucking race, who'd been fine so far, suddenly tells me he's too busy.

I now have to get a tradesman I know and trust to drive three fucking hours to do this, because local talent is shite.

Add in the fact that when you get a quote it's all smoke and fucking mirrors anyway. You don't lump sum quote me, you break the prices down so I can see what's costing what, and so I can update my insurers and kept my books.

Or you ask for that and they throw a fit. If you're so ashamed of what you're charging for labour and putting on top etc that you don't want to break it down, I suggest you review how much you're charging. I know you need to make profit - show me that and I am happy. Try and hide it and I smell a rat.

I'm not thick, I'll find out how much that patio door cost you and woe betide you if you lied to me.

Honest to fuck, I encounter this every time I need a trade. Or they're good, but completely illegal. I need a contract, not just a fag packet quote. I did a lot of work professionally around this, and they don't understand a contract is to protect them too, or I ask the client could just deny the work was ever agreed to and fuck your money owed.

Jesus tittyfucking Christ

Three hours drive for someone to come and do this fit because the locals are lazy, useless and unprofessional. A joke.

Anyone else find this?
 
#2
Staybright or everest any good?
 
#3
A tradesman's cuntishness is gauged in proportion to what a cunt the customer is, and whether they're tighter than bark to a tree with their money.

My favourite is working for somebody whose cousin 3 times removed worked as a hod carrier for a summer in 1972, and is therefore an expert at my trade.
 
#4
I charge a ridiculous amounts and it appears I can, five years ago for property management I charged 5% of the gross income but the work was boring and I made enough in other areas so I doubled the fee (10%) believing I would loose my clients, within 6 months I had twice as many clients I may have to increase my fees again.
People don't mind paying if you are upfront and no surprises
 
#5
Three hours drive for someone to come and do this fit because the locals are lazy, useless and unprofessional.
You jest, surely...?! It takes more than three hours to drive to Africa.
 

MrBane

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#6
A tradesman's cuntishness is gauged in proportion to what a **** the customer is, and whether they're tighter than bark to a tree with their money.

My favourite is working for somebody whose cousin 3 times removed worked as a hod carrier for a summer in 1972, and is therefore an expert at my trade.
Haha, ye, but I've never displayed any of that. I'm happy to pay a premium for good work, high demand low availability, etc. I always go in with "I have no idea how this works and what kind of timeframe you need". I should in theory be like a lamb to the slaughter.

Staybright or everest any good?
That must be a joke. :D Everest are always available, if I want to pay four times the going rate. Genuinely.
 
#9
Anyone else find this?
Twice. Once to do my ensuite and the second to do my family bathroom.

It feels like you just can't give them work. I usually only touch Trades whom I've either been recommended or know from rumour control (I live in a small town in the middle of no-where, so everyone knows everyone (except me, I settled here as I was posted here)).

They either don't bother replying, or they turn up mumble a bit then disappear never to be seen again. If I ever get a quote it normally is a one liner with some Google copy-&-paste legal stuff, but the overall opinion is they look like one small meagre step-up away from a pikey "I'll do for X mate, for cash!"

Do they realise I don't want to torture them in my dungeon, I just want what they purport to do as a job, and I'll even happily pay them for it.
 
#10
They are all cnuts, I agree, my son is training to be a sparky and after he has served his time and is ready I will assist him in setting up his own company with me working to assist him and the one thing I have drummed in is to treat people how you want to be treated. He will not be a cnut tradie.

I have plumbers snap off the date tags on my PRV and try to tell me they are out of date, luckily I photographed them and reported the cnut to the "female friendly" service site they subscribe to.

Electricians doing half a job and walking off site and dissapearing for 2 weeks and then having to pay another sparky to fix their sh1t, luckily on this one I didnt pay anything up front and so ended up with some free (and expensive) fuses in a nice new cabinet, which they then threatened to remove if I didnt pay them. I explained that it cost me as much as the goods to get another sparky and we could discuss an amicable settlement, I then ignored them for 2 weeks, its amazing how they are available when you owe them money.

The pool installation was shi1 and never worked, the solar panels caught fire (a surreal moment when a neighbour casually knocked on the door and told me) and when they fixed it they forgot to replace the roof tiles where their fall arrest system was attached leaving a hole in the roof!

I am happy to pay a fair price for any quality works, they can come and scope out as I cannot write an electronic or plumbing installation scope of work and if there are unforseens I would pay them if everything was fair and honest.

latest one is a new house build, phones up to claim bad weather delays (its in the contract) but denies that where there are fine days they dont show up I cannot ofset these, the contract is silent on this but I think if necessary a court will back me on the silence.

Luckily I have never had windows installed but I can imagine if you have bespoke dimensions and therefore have to pay up front to have them made, have the window maker/glazier come out and do the deal with them, not the installer!

Oh I feel your angst, its set me off reading it.
 
#11
Do they realise I don't want to torture them in my dungeon, I just want what they purport to do as a job, and I'll even happily pay them for it.
I think you should torture them, perhaps word will get out and you will get better service, just tell the neighbours you have been known to kidnap tradies who ignore you also.
 

MrBane

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#12
Glad to see it's not just me.

Remember though, the cunts are legally obliged to provide a written contract and a cancellation declaration, explaining how you cancel the work prior to commencement.

Oh, and yes, never ever pay up front. It's very simple, but they don't seem to grasp this - they invoice you for work done.

My rule of thumb is that if they can't buy the materials themselves, they're no good. That's why you do contracts, so they know they'll get their money one way or another.

Cunts.
 
#13
There are a few good eggs out there, but its a shame its the few and not the many.

My mate is a painter and decorator and charges me the going rate which I didnt mind, he has to make a living. I stopped using him when I realized he was crap at his job after one room and after listening to him in the pub dont think I want him with access to my wifes undies.

Had another mate who was a carpet fitter, fast and spot on and didnt want any money, always paid him though.

A mechanic mate who stayed up until 3am fitting a new cam shaft to my car as I needed to be on the road at 5am. (He had been working on it all week after work but the parts came back last day).

Once I moved away I had to try and rebuild a network, just got sorted with a few and had to move again! Hopefully I wont need many trades as the house comes with a 10 year guarantee, but will surely find out soon that its fcuk all use when "the electrician who installed all the networks" has gone broke.
 
#14
Glad to see it's not just me.

Remember though, the ***** are legally obliged to provide a written contract and a cancellation declaration, explaining how you cancel the work prior to commencement.

Oh, and yes, never ever pay up front. It's very simple, but they don't seem to grasp this - they invoice you for work done.

My rule of thumb is that if they can't buy the materials themselves, they're no good. That's why you do contracts, so they know they'll get their money one way or another.

*****.
Are they worse than traffic wardens…..though.
 
#15
You must all be cúnts.

I've got a plumber who comes out for an emergency on a Sunday night and charged me the cost of a bit of pipe. Another time he didn't charge at all.

A sparky who always over quotes and over delivers so you get a cracking job for less than expected and it's comparable with the cowboys price wise.

Had a door replaced for a fair amount, great company, superb customer service, tradie was excellent but employed by the supplying company so took real pride in the install.

I've even had a contractor come out on Christmas Eve, an hour's travel, work three hours to restore service to us leaving us at gone 4pm to go to his last, thankfully closer to home, job. This with a young son at home getting ready for Father Christmas to come. I tried to give him a big tip, wouldn't take it. Managed to persuade him to take an extra tenner for a drink.

In summary, I'm ace.
 

MrBane

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#16
Are they worse than traffic wardens…..though.
Well a traffic warden won't rifle your wife's undies drawer, shit in your pan and not clean it, drink your brews and eat your biscuits nor will they leave your house in a dangerous condition.

So on that basis no, the...... Yeah, fair one, plod wannabe cunts.
 
#17
You must all be cúnts.

I've got a plumber who comes out for an emergency on a Sunday night and charged me the cost of a bit of pipe. Another time he didn't charge at all.

A sparky who always over quotes and over delivers so you get a cracking job for less than expected and it's comparable with the cowboys price wise.

Had a door replaced for a fair amount, great company, superb customer service, tradie was excellent but employed by the supplying company so took real pride in the install.

I've even had a contractor come out on Christmas Eve, an hour's travel, work three hours to restore service to us leaving us at gone 4pm to go to his last, thankfully closer to home, job. This with a young son at home getting ready for Father Christmas to come. I tried to give him a big tip, wouldn't take it. Managed to persuade him to take an extra tenner for a drink.

In summary, I'm ace.
Its back to the dungeon threat, they probably dont want to ire the scousers on account they need their van wheels.

"oh look, an open window...laaaaaa".
 
#18
MrBane where are you and what are you after and when? do you have rough measurements for a fag packet quote?if distance and timeframe reasonable, I could make some calls as just done two full houses (upvc) and one with wooden frames for very reasonable prices (London/Ascot/Ludgershall) only difference in price was London congestion.
 
#19
A tradesman's cuntishness is gauged in proportion to what a **** the customer is, and whether they're tighter than bark to a tree with their money.

My favourite is working for somebody whose cousin 3 times removed worked as a hod carrier for a summer in 1972, and is therefore an expert at my trade.
You worked for Meerkatz?
 

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