Reasons to stay:
Culture Ask anyone in the rest of the real world what that would be (present tense)
Drunks, chavs and nuisances
Reasonably stable economically What, government bailing out banks and numerous rights issues?
Quality policing Now you are taking the piss, try invisible policing
Free secondary education And the literacy rate of young males leaving school is now?
Free healthcare If you are prepared to wait 5 hours in casualty and get free MRSA. Anything
tricky, get on the 2 year waiting list
No serious droughts No hosepipe bans round your way to come then
Lower levels of violent crime (don't believe all you read, more people get knifed in car parts in LA in a weekend than get killed in the UK in a year, and we have a quarter of the per capita rate of violent crime that Australia has and less than a tenth of that in SA)
Oh really, cop shops are shutting an an alarming rate, if they are not open how do
you report it then? People are really not arrsed to report it, ergo.
Welfare state The main reason for leaving, paying people more for dossing than for working, a
real incentive there then
High employment On whose figures? They are out there at the Maggie Thatcher levels, NOT CLAIMING
but getting a nice living, I wonder how?
Proximity to family Not mine, they baled out having seen it before me
Racial tolerance Get yourself to Bradford then, very tolerant there
Reasonable quality TV Endless repeats and propaganda by soaps
Choice of food (Indian, Thai, French, Italian and even English) I'll have that one
Decent beer Warm, flat and very short measures in the pint variety
High tolerance to drink driving (equally a negative) Where is this then? Winter, summer and Christmas
campaigns stopping and breath-testing with no reasonable suspicion. Hmmm
Higher percentage of millionaires than most countries (comparator of prospects) Ex-pat tax avoiders from
other countries
Free road system (generally) Ridden a bike here lately? Look at the quality of the roads
Little organised crime/no mafia You really need to get out more, never heard of core nominals? After Dubai
where is the most money-laundering taking place?
Tolerance of those holding dual nationality Tolerated, yes
Proximity to Europe (equally a negative) A big positive
Technologically advanced In which field would that be then, spinning, lying and
manipulating public opinion?
And the grass really is greener over here than most other countries