Whores & Brothels - Best & Worst Places and Tales (merged)

After arriving in Emblem in 1977, on my first free weekend in June, a couple of RAOC singlies who I had become mates with (Alan and Joe) took me into Antwerp to what was to become my local bar, the Barracuda Bar on Carnotstraat , near the Centraal Station and a small street with ladies behind the windows (alas no longer there, although another bar of the same name has opened elsewhere). The owner was a Cornishman, called Jim, who would have us believe he was from Texas, and his wife Dani, a not unattractive former Spanish Whore with massive tits. (I really don't know what made me fall in love with her (perhaps it was her mind!). Anyway around 0100 or 0200 in the morning, the normally empty bar, would suddenly fill up with a large selection of ladies of the night in various forms of enticing dress. The owner, Jim, was shagging a very attractive young whore, and so being a self-confessed virgin for the fifth or sixth time, Dani would lead me up to her sumptious bedroom where she endeavoured to teach me the ways of love for free. Later during my posting in Belgium, after Jim hhad run off with his younger model and I had become part of the furniture so to speak and was well known amongst the weekend visitors, I would interview the said ladies, then register them as my informants and claim expenses for the drinks and meals I bought them. However, I didn't pay for anything else.

By the way, I'm still a Virgin (I think)
 
During a long Bank Holiday weekend in 1980, four of us (all JNCOs) from HQ 3 Armd Div in Korbecke, decided to give the "Shack" a miss that weekend and instead travel up to Hamburg just to see what it was like. Three of us were from the Div Int Sect (73 Int Sect), and the fourth was an RAOC Staff Clerk. To prepare for the trip, we all agreed to draw no more than DM500 from our Bank Accounts..........all that is except for Crazy Phil, who promptly withdrew DM3000 from his.

We arrived in Hamburg and immediately drove to the St Pauli District (after all that was where all the nightclubs were and we were looking for an evening of musical entertainment! Honestly) After parking my car in an underground car park on the Reeperbahn we set forth to grab a drink and a meal.

After filling our bellies we went for a walk along the Gross Freiheit and noted a number of clubs advertising TV entertainment. The youngest member of our party, for it was not me, but a fairly newly arrived Lance Jack who somehow thought Bodie from the Professionals looked like him. Since he had fallen in love with a girl known to all of us as "Bury Me in a Y Shaped Coffin", but been thrown over, he boldly stated that we may as well frequent one of these clubs as they might be showing a football match that evening! After promising to bring him back later, he later spots a "young lady" at the end of the street by a lamp post and, as he had no German, asked me to act on his behalf. Knowing exactly what I was getting myself into I approached the individual and boldly asked "Wie Viel Kostet" to which it replied in a heavy gruff voice "Funfzig Mark". I hurried back to my young companion and told him "you're In".......We three who were left then watched him escort the thing away to do the business, but expecting him to come running back immediately.....He didn't.

The three remaining heroes went for a drink in the bar leading into the Eros Centre where we lost Crazy Phil, who by now had bought a bunch of light sticks and was proceeding to place them down the knickers of every whore who approached him.
Lee, the Staff Clerk and myself left Crazy Phil to it and went for a walk down the Herbertstrasse where I lost Lee as he disappeared to a not unattractive Domina.
I left the Herbertstrasse and went for a drink in a curious little club on Erichstrasse. Curious in that it was actually two clubs, but being naïve (?) I didn't really take any notice of their names until I walked inside. Club De Sade and Club Justine were SM establishments which could be accessed through separate external doors or via an internal sliding door. Needless to say the drinks were prohibitively expensive, and the Madam insisted on being bought Champagne (Sekt!). Nevertheless, I left as soon as was convenient about an hour later.

There was still no sign of Crazy Phil at the rendezvous we had arranged to meet, although the Bodie lookalike had turned up looking very sheepish...and not saying much at all. We went to the Davidswache Polizei Station to enquire if they had picked up any squaddies that night and they suggested we return to the Eros Centre to look for our friend. On arrival, we could hear someone singing the Queen Song "Another One Bites The Dust" only to see Crazy Phil pi**ed and swinging his last light sticks around his head.........He had clicked with one lady and spent all his money for 3 hours of bliss! The man was a legend.

By the way we only had about DM50 between us for the journey home, so we stopped off at the Roundhouse in Hohne and had some Brekkie.
 
OH!!!! you poor lightweights, paying for pussy in swinging minden, rampen loch and simeonstrasse, mariettas bar on the dutzener strasse only gay bar in minden,,before I landed in BAOR,I spent 46 months in farelf, boogy street and geylang in singapore, bmh wasnt to bad either,duly introduced to the dance of the flaming arseholes on the roof of boogy street toilets aftermidnight, then ashort stint in Kuching before my last 36 months in thailand, man what an education and the tottie was amazing,the village girlswere great until the yanks started showing up and throwing money around and putting a price on everything!pleasant memories.
 
Black Alley Hannover. It was one of the final ports of call whenever RHQ had a leaving do. 30 years later the memory of a 'lady' piggbacking our much loved and respected CO stills raises a giggle. 'Madame please remove yourself' and a plaintiff cry to the RSM for help still fresh in my mind.
 
I sort of lost my virginity in that brothel in Sennelager, on the strip.

Italian hooker in a German brother sounds kind of exotic but the reality was pants. I paid up and got to work when her cat/a cat jumped on the bed. She was showing the cat more attention than me so I swiped the moggy off the bed. She freaked out and threw me out.

There I was 18 years old standing in a dark corridor trying to get dressed still with the jooby on.
 
Black Angus Bar San Juan Puerto Rico get retarsed and laid at the same time. The place is a hoot but can be extremely dangerous on the odd occasion. Guns and knives are the norm for the local gangs who roam the area.
 
Back when I was sparking, I did some private work for a property maintenance company based in Barking, East London.
I got a call one evening, asking me to go to a flat in Goodmayes.
Apparently, one of RCD's wouldn't stay on.
I rocked up, only to be met by an eastern european bird at the door, who was wearing not very much for a freezing cold december evening.
Fortunately, it was just a case of replacing a dodgy RCD. I heard that a couple of months later, the Police/Immigration raided the flat.
 
First run ashore in a proper foreign port, Europe and the States not counting was Bombay, the whores were to be found down Falkland Rd, odd how I remember that. Now Bombay did not have pubs or bars so we headed to posh hotels then the rougher part of town for more beers.

The house we choose was a big colonial thing serving warm beer and girls. We got beers sat down and looked around. The rooms were partionied in to small cell like places of Bussines, each girl had her own room.

One of the stokers decided to have a crack at the local talent so of he went in to the cell. After a while you could hear him digging out out and curiosity seized his oppo who decided to pull himself up to the top of the partition and watch his mate perform.

What the peeping tom had missed was the big celling fan above his head, as he pulled him self up to the top of the partion he got a crack on his head that sent him over the partition on to his mate and the girl bring down the partition as well.

Out comes running the half naked whore, a dazed stoker and one lucky stoker with a huge lump coming up a most likely the headache to end all headaches.
 
Last time I was in the Reeperbahn, three HQ 3 Div Captains over from Bulford on exercise in Schleswig-Holstein, stole a lightweight Landrover and bribed the services of Cpl WB as non-boozing driver, to ensure that they returned from the delights of the city to our Tac HQ somewhere near Itzehoe. I quickly forgot the no-alcohol restriction, and had a hazy evening in a number of bars. Back at the LR at the designated pick-up time, one of the Captains, (Eric...) was frantic; he'd run out of money and was on a promise for a BJ. I couldn't handle the begging and handed over DM10. The bugger still owes me.
 
a true wellknown personnal confession, I was sent from Labuan to BMH singapore, slightly under the affluance of incahol, I fell through a bamboo fence spearing myself through both thighs with alarge bamboo spike, so off to bmh singapore, after the surgical removal of said spike,I was moved to HQ transit block , until I was fit to be rtu,d,during this period I started courting an almond eyed chinese girl who worked in reception,she was beautiful and we were getting on great, met her parents and everything,my 21st burfday was coming up,so I hoped my luck was in, the Invictas, the naval rockband off hms victorius were playing at the saturday hop, so few drinks in the mess acouple of brandy sours down her neck, lots of smoochy dances then upstairs to my billet, started of brilliantly a bj to dream about ,I started to undress her, her beautiful silky breasts and the biggest pair of hairy Bollocks Ihave ever seen, so still clutching said family jewels I dragged him tothe balcony and threw him on t the lawn below, to the amazement of the people dancing below,luckily nothing more than here pride was hurt,for years afterwards, when I bumped into QA,s medics and seychellois nurses who were qa,s at the time,in singapore, they always asked if I still did not like females,happy memories
 
a true wellknown personnal confession, I was sent from Labuan to BMH singapore, slightly under the affluance of incahol, I fell through a bamboo fence spearing myself through both thighs with alarge bamboo spike, so off to bmh singapore, after the surgical removal of said spike,I was moved to HQ transit block , until I was fit to be rtu,d,during this period I started courting an almond eyed chinese girl who worked in reception,she was beautiful and we were getting on great, met her parents and everything,my 21st burfday was coming up,so I hoped my luck was in, the Invictas, the naval rockband off hms victorius were playing at the saturday hop, so few drinks in the mess acouple of brandy sours down her neck, lots of smoochy dances then upstairs to my billet, started of brilliantly a bj to dream about ,I started to undress her, her beautiful silky breasts and the biggest pair of hairy Bollocks Ihave ever seen, so still clutching said family jewels I dragged him tothe balcony and threw him on t the lawn below, to the amazement of the people dancing below,luckily nothing more than here pride was hurt,for years afterwards, when I bumped into QA,s medics and seychellois nurses who were qa,s at the time,in singapore, they always asked if I still did not like females,happy memories
Ah we've all been there. Well, not me, obviously . . .
 
Still at HQ 3 Armd Div in Korbecke, we had a couple of Gurkha JNCOs attached for a few weeks. Always dressed in Regimental Mufti when off-duty, and knowing they were short of money and only entitled to a lower rate of LOA we decided to treat them to a trip to Dortmund, and quite by accident, ended up in Linienstrasse. One whore in particular took a fancy to the older of the two Gurkhas, so we paid the DM50 for a quick bang and pushed him inside, expecting him to return within 10-15 minutes. No such luck, he remained inside for 3 hours before she let him go! And to think I once fancied her.....until I saw her without her make-up and literally tired and shagged out.
 
On another occasion when I was stationed in Hounslow, I was tasked by my boss to recover a classified and fairly sensitive document from a brothel in Central London. The lady running the place, was in fact a Madam, or Dominatrix, and had reported the finding of the documents to the MOD, who duly passed on the Information to HQ London District who passed it on to my Section.

The establishment was in Philbeach Gardens, Earls Court, a basement flat with its own gated entrance, (for any of you perverts wanting to visit....it was at least 35 years ago).
I was let in by a maid, and after showing her my ID and establishing that I was not a client, but was expected, I was shown in to meet Mistress Tricia, a very attractive lady in her late thirties or early forties, dressed from head to toe in a tight black shiny latex catsuit, who went on to explain that she catered for a specialist clientele who could afford the high cost of visiting her (I certainly couldn't afford her even if I was off-duty).

She went on to explain that one of her clients, who she believed to be a Guards officer, had left his Camel Hair coat behind and in the inside pocket, was an open HMSO envelope, which she handed to me. She couldn't, or more likely wouldn't, give me any more information on the identity of the officer, but that was easy enough for me to establish.

The document itself was CONFIDENTIAL with an additional CAVEAT dealing with operations in NI and therefore, because CONFIDENTIAL documents had to be registered in MOD Forms 102 in those days, was easy to trace and identify the officer concerned. He was invited to resign his commission and narrowly avoided being interviewed, with the possibility of a criminal conviction, by MPSB, thanks to the intervention of the then Major General Commanding the Household Division.

As to the lady who ran that special establishment, I had horny thoughts about her mode of dress for a number of months/years/decades afterwards.
 
I know I'll probably regret this but what is a 'squirter'?
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[There was an illustration I had to delete to prevent being ROPed.]





Female ejaculation is characterized as an expulsion of fluid from or near the vagina during or before an orgasm. It is also known colloquially as squirting or gushing,[1] although these are considered to be different phenomena in some research publications.[2]
 
a true wellknown personnal confession, I was sent from Labuan to BMH singapore, slightly under the affluance of incahol, I fell through a bamboo fence spearing myself through both thighs with alarge bamboo spike, so off to bmh singapore, after the surgical removal of said spike,I was moved to HQ transit block , until I was fit to be rtu,d,during this period I started courting an almond eyed chinese girl who worked in reception,she was beautiful and we were getting on great, met her parents and everything,my 21st burfday was coming up,so I hoped my luck was in, the Invictas, the naval rockband off hms victorius were playing at the saturday hop, so few drinks in the mess acouple of brandy sours down her neck, lots of smoochy dances then upstairs to my billet, started of brilliantly a bj to dream about ,I started to undress her, her beautiful silky breasts and the biggest pair of hairy Bollocks Ihave ever seen, so still clutching said family jewels I dragged him tothe balcony and threw him on t the lawn below, to the amazement of the people dancing below,luckily nothing more than here pride was hurt,for years afterwards, when I bumped into QA,s medics and seychellois nurses who were qa,s at the time,in singapore, they always asked if I still did not like females,happy memories

Massive lies.
 
Strangely, I lived in a flat in Philbeach Gardens for about six months in 1972, but it was a very proper, staid neighbourhood then. Apart from the bloody Australians, of course.
I don't know what you mean.
 
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