Whores & Brothels - Best & Worst Places and Tales (merged)

#1
Well, it is a small world! Just found out that Gunny, QMan and I at one time or another frequented the same 'Knockin' Shop' in Berlin! The one and only Mon Cherie's at Stuttgarter Platz or 'The Monchers at Stooky Platz' if you served up there. Gunny and me (we've never met) have one not so young lady in common.....the Lovely Tina from the Blue Angel (two doors up from the 'Monchers'). Anybody else ever been there?.....Stooky Platz that is! In fact if you've been anywhere near Tina, let's form a club!

Gunny, did you ever have a go with one of the more mature versions down 17 Juni Strasse........tops!!...... telling you, worth every Deutsch Mark! What they didn't know about Blow Jobs wasn't worth knowing! Gawd I miss them! That's the ho's and the BJs!!

The bath at the 'Monchers' was always chocca. remember one of the lads farting in the bath and 'following through', funny as f*ck...The 'ho's, were leaping about screaming like f*ck and all us lot were fighting to get out of the bath!.....one or two of us didn't quite make it out in time! .We all got thrown out and were barred for what seemed like months !!

Remember going down St Pauli in Hamburg one night in the '80s. The whole Squadron were out on the tiles. Stumbled upon a 'live sex show', stayed for a while. One of the ho's got up on stage and was giving it big licks and inviting all comers. All these Erics were just sat there. Then there was a big commotion as about 30 of us, bollock naked by this time stormed the stage. The ho took off stage right! Got asked to leave that one as well. Lost one of my shoes in the cuffuffle. That was at 10 o'clock at night and it was pissing down outside!

Anybody got any decent 'ho' stories?
 
#2
A few pals of mine in Minden used to visit the Brass in 10 mark alley then rip the number plates off thier BMWs and Porshes then keep them on thier walls in the block.

My favourite was a ropey old minger but she could suck the chrome off a bumper...................... ahhhh the memories.
 
#3
10 mark alley in Minden (Der Rampenloch).....been there as well!! F*ckin' laugh a minute there when you were bladdered!!
 
#4
The ropey moose with a poodle?

Was escorted back to camp by the Polizie for asking how much to bugger the pooch as its owner was a bit of a munter :D
 
#5
Can't remember her, but there was a blonde thing with the strangest looking tits you ever did see. She was alright apart from her wierd tits. She used to hang out (virtually) about half way up the street. Don't know why they called it 10 mark alley.......that must have harped back to the days of national service, as you wouldn't get the cat for 10 marks down there in '88.

F*ck, did I have a mispent youth!! Good fun though!
 
#6
That blondie with the mishaped mammaries always wore white lingerie, hated the British and mocked when you had drunk that much you couldn't get a stiffy

She took your pennies kicked you out and told your pals you were a crap pee wee boy............... I took my revenge by swiping her number plate and lagging in her soft top Alfa Romeo :D
 
#7
Ref Mon Cherie's, do you remember that thing they used to pass around in the bird cage, prior to the 'act'? Once managed to appropriate said 'toy' and affix it to front of the GSU guardroom in Stadium Barracks.

What made the visit even more worthwhile however, was a quick trip round the corner to Imbiss 104 on Wilmersdorfer Strasse. Best bullie & pommes in the world...

Thought you'd have preferred the lovely ladies at 'Starlight', Ma Sonic?

And remember that piped music - 'Mon Cherie's....sexy girls!!'
 
#8
Don't know about sexy girls, but they did it for me when I was mortal after a night on the stadt. Never been to Starlight........gay bar I take it? Not my scene man. Take it that you were in 247 then Shame Us?

When you were up there did you ever see the VW van that was parked at the bottom of Kant Strasse, with the big signs on the side which read 'Big Sexy Land'? Apparently if was a posh knockin' shop/cabaret place. It was my ambition to buy that van (with the signs) and have it BFG'd, then take it down the corridor to the Zone!!
 
#9
Can any of you remember the word the ladies used when asking for you to buy them a drink?

'You buy me pickello, buy me pickello'.

To this day it tasted of weak lemonade.
 
#10
That was the cheap 'Babycham' crap that they couldn't get p*ssed on, which cost you about 25 DMs a time. They drank that so that they stayed sober enough to fleece your wallet when you got yer kit off!
 
#11
Aaah, Mon Cheri's....how many people could you get in that bath? I remember it being a bit of a crush. Did anyone do Linea Strasse in Dortmund?
 
#13
Ma,

Remember the 'Big Sexy Land' van well, now you come to mention it - I could see you panning it along the corridor.

Starlight not quite a gaybar (shame on your furtive imagination) - but close. Remember the bar with a cinema in the back room about 2-3 doors down from Monchie's, with a Thai looking 'human' permanently stationed at the door? Perhaps it wasn't yet open in the late 70's. They used to shout as us monkeys on our (regular) 'patrols' of the area. Best 'duty Coke' was always Mochie's, though.

I'd have thought you were more of a 'ten-mark-allee' man (Kurfurstenstrasse (as opposed to Kurfurstendam).

Getting back to Monchie's, remember the size of the towels they gave you after going in the bath? Massive...
 
#15
Mon Cherie.......
More than a few visiting brass tasted the water there, and occasionally one or two were nabbed by the crabs (undercover, don't ye know).

The best piece of work I ever saw by P&SS was a report from some yokel who detailed his visit, swim and shag - all in the name of 'undercover reconnaissance'. He even claimed expenses for it.
 
#16
Every bloke that served in BAOR, Hong Kong or Belize must have partaken in the delights on offer at the local slapper emporium. With that in mind there must be numerous amusing tales regarding experiences with the ladies of the night.

Share them here.............
 
#17
One night in the Blue Angel, West Berlin. A newly arrived beautiful 16 year old girlie from Asia. She took me into the bogs and gave a me a bloody good BJ for DM50. Ended a perfect night of beer, dancing, currywurst and cheap porns films.

Another night my mate Scouse was using an ice cube at the same bar to try and turn on one of the prossies. That wasn't working, so he tried a light cig, and promptly burnt her arm, to which she punched him in the face. Laugh? I choked on my beer !! :lol: You'd need an industrial steam driven hammer to turn on the Blue Angel ladies of the night !!
 
#18
At the end of a long day of drinking, a friend and I went into the Apple Bar. Dancing girls, lots of propositions, and lots of cold beer, end to a perfect day.

Girl comes out on stage to dance and looks just like an old girlfriend of mine. Being the perfect gentleman that I am (and pissed), I jump on stage to "rescue" her. Feet never touched the stage.

A bouncer grabbed me in midair, getting me in a bear hug. I head butted him in the nose, and from there it went down hill. After receiving the thrashing of my life, he threw me out of the club. And then I had to explain why I looked like the walking dead to the SgtMaj.

Worst part was, I didn't even get any..... :!:
 
#19
Gunny did you evr get in the bath at the Mon Cheries? I think every squaddie that served or even vistied Berlin did.

Man the memories just come flooding back

Went to Hamburg with all the singlies in the Squadron one night. Couple of the old sweats were showing us around. Every fucker piled into a 'live sex show' gaff. Fucking great i'll tell you. Anyway, theres this bird gets up on the stage with a snake, which was dull. The lads were all at the back booing her from the bar and the cheap seats. She picks up on the lingo and starts swearing at us in English. Lads gave her shit. She announces that she could take on any of us and gives it plenty of the usual 'you've all got small dicks' crap. Anyway, within seconds there were at least 20 naked/semi naked toms running down the isle towards the stage. Fcuk, the managment went spare, pulled out MACE spray and those bendy German Police rubber truncheons that wrap round heads when hit. I managed to do a fighting retreat to the exit holding onto my clothes, lost my shoes like. Most of us got out with just stinging eyes, but some of the lads took a beating. We put their windows in.

My lasting memory was hoofing it about in wet socks. Fcuking awful it was.
 
#20
Ten mark alley.. Minden.. Masonic will know it well

There was a certain old boot there that had a BMW M3 outside her cabin and sat in the window in her webbing and heels and had a small dog at her feet.

She hated Brits and me in particular, as I could never keep it up after a night on the beer making her job alot more difficult.. her English was zehr zehr gut and I'm sure she understood me when I used to say 'Lick it you boxhead slag'

I only went in with her to try and get one up on her, at the end of the proceedings she used to pee into a bucket while I removed the marigold.. Feeling particulary naughty and suitably pissed I grabbed the dog and tried to get the Rubber full of boy glue on the dogs head, she went bat sh*t hitting me with everything from a dildo to a plank of wood she used for spanking :D

In the end I gave in and rolled out laughing, looking back in the window at the matted hair pooch

as I stumbled down the alley to the taxi rank I realsied she had my wallet and she had won....... or so she thought.... I pulled the number plate off her BMW and poured the contents of the stadt bin over it :D

I was charged £75 for the ID card and lost DM 250 from my wallet.. well worth it to see that yappy fcuking mutt covered in harry monk :D :D
 
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