Who to look to for help.

I have a relative ex national service then 20 odd years TA who's wife has just passed away. He's not great at asking for help but frankly he needs it. He has mobility issues and sleeps down stairs as he cannot get up them. He has two good sons who come in and cook for him but to me he needs more care they have kids of their own and jobs to tend to yet they take turns to get his breakfast and evening meals. Anyone give me a route map for ex services or indeed civvie care. Our main problem is his attitude, "it's my problem I'll sort it".
I think he has health issues arising from his service he was on mortars (legs gone bad back, fondness for fried food and spangles).
I know he isn't an ex regular but he would have been if he had not had to look after his mum in the 60's. he lives and breathes the Lancashire fusiliers.
Help appreciated.
Bonn
 
First call should be to local social services. They'll organise stuff like carers and house adaptations. Taking into care is generally considered a last resort. Depending on what's available locally, they may set him up with a day care centre so that he'll get a bit of company, rather than sit in isolation all day.
 
Oh, and remind him that it's not charity. He's paid for it over the years.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
I agree with the black and white cap badge. GP also may be of use but first port of call, social services, they're often very good and can support him to live independently as much as possible.
 

Poppy

LE
may be worth phoning ssafa for advice as well
 

oldbaldy

LE
Moderator
I have a relative ex national service then 20 odd years TA who's wife has just passed away. He's not great at asking for help but frankly he needs it. He has mobility issues and sleeps down stairs as he cannot get up them. He has two good sons who come in and cook for him but to me he needs more care they have kids of their own and jobs to tend to yet they take turns to get his breakfast and evening meals. Anyone give me a route map for ex services or indeed civvie care. Our main problem is his attitude, "it's my problem I'll sort it".
I think he has health issues arising from his service he was on mortars (legs gone bad back, fondness for fried food and spangles).
I know he isn't an ex regular but he would have been if he had not had to look after his mum in the 60's. he lives and breathes the Lancashire fusiliers.
Help appreciated.
Bonn
Yes, get him to call SSAFA, local number can be found here:
https://www.ssafa.org.uk/about-us/ssafa-near-you/

The fact that he wasn't regular is meaningless, most of those serving in WW2 weren't either!
 

cass

Old-Salt
His Gp is the first port of call they are very good,at organising social services to visit.
 
RBL led my dad through the process of getting a War Pension for deafness (though how they managed to get it attributed to 6 weeks of firing mortars at Thetford as opposed to 40 years of working in a noisy factory environment is beyond me) and hounded the local health authority into providing him with the latest digital hearing aids together with hearing loops from social services.

There's a lot of help out there. Start with the basics from SS then top up with the clout provided by other organisations. As Jarrod mentions, don't forget his GP. He carries weight in respect of what care and aids are needed.

Also don't forget stuff like GP visits, repeat prescriptions and home delivery of medicines, the last is arranged through participating chemists.

The SS may install panic buttons in the house, as a wrist strap or as a pendant. If not, suggest it. Once supplied, badger the old duffer to use them when required. My dad spent all night on the bathroom floor waiting for his morning carer "because he didn't want to trouble anybody in the middle of the night".
 
Thanks all. As stated we have written to his GP. I'm not a close relative so I'm a bit puzzled as to why he hasn't had much help yet. I live 24 hours away so don't see him that much so when I do the deterioration is more evident. Still as sharp as a button but a stubborn old bastard.
I will ring SSFA on Monday.
Will keep you all posted.
 

cass

Old-Salt
If you want things to happen use the phone,get on to the GP.My Father was in a similar situation there is a rapid team the he can get on the case the same day in most cases they are a multi skilled team within the NHS they are excellent. They sort everything out from care plans to extra money he could be entitled to.
 
Just an update. SSFA in the North west have been fantastic, very helpful. Unfortunately close members of his family appear to be taking him for a ride. He knows it and won't dob them in. The last few weeks have been a reality check for me and my wife.
 

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