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Who thought embezzlement was a crime?

After several months in the slammer and having some dude called Bubba telling me to "bend over and pick up the soap", I have come to the conclusion that embezzlement is not such a good idea afterall.

Said Bubba threatened to cut my balls off with a chainsaw and stuff 'em down my throat (the same crime he was in for to begin with.)

Have you had a jailhouse experience and what was it like?

I went to a party at a local jail
I heard a man scream and wail
When I looked I had a real shock
It was Devil Dog impaled on a twelve inch cock........

To the tune of Jailhouse Rock.
I've heard Preparation H or Germaloids works well, after receiving colonic irrigation and an alcohol douche. Failing that, you can have those grapes 'banded'. I would suggest that once the post-traumatic stress kicks in you get on the waiting list for cognitive behavioural therapy unless, that is, you actually took pleasure in it. It must be a bastard to walk around with an 'anal' smell constantly following you. PVC pants?
Not since 1975/76 in the Crum. Terrifying experience.

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