Who the fuck is One Direction?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by goatrutar, Apr 18, 2012.

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  1. Apparently you lot have sent some band here called "One Direction". I must be getting old because I've never fucking heard of them. Question is, who the fuck are they and should I be wanking myself stupid in excitement over them?
  2. Soggy4978

    Soggy4978 Old-Salt Book Reviewer

    Good, if they're over there you can keep them.

    I believe they took part in one of the numerous televisual "talent" shows at some point.
  3. Some cunts off some reality show I think. Who cares.
  4. They look like public school boys who have been made, as punishment for losing soggy biscuit, to wear all of topshop in one go while making old ladies froth at the gash.
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  5. 'One Direction' is, coincidentally, the terms on their tickets. Not just their names. There your problem now!


    PS We'll have Kevin Bloody Wilson in return if you like.
  6. One Direction are a Thatcher tribute band. For afficionados, there is no alternative and certainly no turning from one direction....
  7. We had hundreds of spotty teenagers clogging up peak hour traffic today, all having shrieking orgasms at the thought of seeing this lot.
  8. They are the test tube off-spring of Simon Cowell, designed to keep him receiving royalties and fees from their repertoire of three tunes.
  9. I'll see if I can arrange for their tour bus to divert to a nice state forest...
  10. See if you can set it up to find out how well they dance on the end of a rope, will you?
  11. I don't hold any torch for this bunch of wannabes. However, they are young, loaded and have hordes of screaming girls lusting after them. I sense a hint of the green eyed monster from a load of middle aged, past their sell by date ARRSErs!!

    Signed, a middle aged, past his sell by date ARRSEr who loves Genesis and Prog Rock! :)
  12. Trans-sane

    Trans-sane LE Book Reviewer

    May I suggest a half dozen Inland Taipans would go down a treat too.
  13. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Ask them if they fancy starting a Miami Showband re-enactment society?

    One of the many joys of advancing years is I haven't a scoobie who metrosexual frothers like this lot are, and I can get to page 10 of Hello magazine without recognising a single soul. Send Vera Lynn.
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  14. But on the flip side, I've never been forced to suck Louis Walsh off.
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  15. Theyre crap, but touring a crap country so, doesn't matter. How's the hamburgers?