Who Should We Recolonise Next?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Brick, Jun 16, 2009.

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  1. We're apparently suspending the local constitution and reinstating direct rule for a couple of years in the Turks and Caicos Islands because of some possible dodgy practices by the local politicians. Shame we can't do that over here but I digress. They seem to have picked a pretty good target for it - small population, bugger all defensive capability and very nice weather and location. So after we've had fun with them for a bit who should we take over next? Your suggestions please ladies and gentlemen. :D
  2. Shhhh... We're already recolonizing the USA... I'm on the advance party... Drop it... pretend it's a joke... Pretend you're a retard... Leave your house now, men are coming... :roll:
  3. We could try Afghanistan again. Fourth time lucky and all that.
  4. Mahon in Minorca. It was British for almost a hundred years and it'd be payback for the Spanish pinching Manchester United's star player how's-your-fathero.

    Burma? At least the locals there would be guaranteed glad to see you back again.

    The Channel Islands? Lots of good looting there.

    And if you ask very nicely Butlins can put up a camp at eighty mile beach, just up the road as the Emu trots.
  5. It's 6:29pm my time... It was about 11:00pm your time when you woffled, (notice I do civvy times for you because I'm quite sure the 24 hour clock would confuse you too much), and called me "sad" for being here. I'm having a beer at my bar and preparing to go out to dinner with my beautiful wife. You are... What are you doing? It's late, possibly way past your bed time. Did you sneak into the computer room without mummy seeing and are abusing me or are you a really sad bastard that comes onto the computer late at night, (after a few bevvies), and try to abuse grown men... Either way, I'm your man...

    Firstly, you forgot to answer my question. What is it about time zones you don't understand? Silly girl...

    Bring it on sweetie... It's people like you that tells me I do a good job here on Arrse...

    ... and "mr sad face"... How fucking gay is that? [​IMG]

  6. Try Australia. The pregnant 12-year-old bogans should make you feel right at home.
  7. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    well, if the boxheads are worried about getting soft, we could always go halves on doing over the frogs again.
  8. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Can I just confirm that you do mean recolonize with a short vowel rather than a long vowel sound?

    It does make a little bit of a difference, given the fact that you mention both the reconquest of previously held territory, and buggery all in the same paragraph?
  9. Would you please please take the US first. Please!

    I really do not want to wait until January 20, 2013. Obama is spending my money like a drunken sailor (Note to Rum Ration types, figure of speech, drunken sailors aren't that bad). If we got Joe Biden it could be worse. He is dumber than my springer spaniel and the spaniel has been dead for 3 weeks.

    The climate is not that bad. We speak a language very similar to English. I would even put colour, honour, favour and cheque into my spellchecker!

    We would even let you enoble Gordon Brown and send him over as Lord Brownwings of Tampa and make him Minister of Snow Removal for Floridashire. Given that it does not snow in Florida you could give him a budget of zero and with no snow to manage he could not do much harm.

    Please invade us! You could even burn down the White House again if you want although this time I would ask that you wait until you know Hilary Clinton is inside.

    Let me know when you are landing. I will be the person on the beach with a kettle of hot water and a big box of PG Tips waiting to welcome you with a nice cuppa.

    Please do this. Three more years of Obama and Zimbabwe will look prosperous in comparison.
  10. New Zealand... It's a nice place.

    I'd avoid USA, with all the gun nuts and milita we'd end up in a Falluja scenario in no time.
  11. Didn't we once try and land in Beunos Aires, we could always return the favour they paid us in '82 in partnership with Chilie divide the land, steal the gold and raze it to the ground.. They'll not try anything again.

    Failing that I'm all for taking control of SETH EFRIKA in time for the football with crab air doing free flights from Brize to Cape town in the old VC-10s
  12. Unlike the last bloke. He started two wars - they tend to be rather expensive! :lol:
  13. I wonder how many of our wonderful MPs are currently booking "fact finding" visits to the Troughs and Cakeholes islands? I suspect they will all have given it a once over before next years hurricane season starts.

    As for recolonisation, I think we should start with the realms we lost first, France and Denmark.
  14. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Did we ever own Hawaii? If not could we just invade anyway, I wouldn't be on rear party for that fcuker.
  15. It looks like we never owned it. However the flag below looks familiar and so by some association . . . . .