Who is The Secret Footballer?

Discussion in 'Sports, Adventure Training and Events' started by CRmeansCeilingReached, Oct 22, 2011.

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  1. for those who don't know, the Guardian has a long-running blog written by "The Secret Footballer". The Secret Footballer | Football | The Guardian

    In much the same manner as The Stig, there is wide speculation about who this player is. He is certainly a journeyman and has played at a number of clubs under a variety of managers. He's English, married and probably a midfielder or striker. If you look across various forums, people tend to think it is one of the following:

    Paul Konchesky
    Kevin Nolan
    Joey Barton
    Steve Sidwell
    Jason Euell
    Andrew Johnson
    Nicky Shorey
    Joe Cole
    Danny Murphy
    Kevin Phillips
    Leighton Baines
    Kevin Davies
    Scott Parker

    there are other candidates around, with plenty of discussion why it could be so-and-so, or can't be that bloke. I have long suspected it is Danny Murphy; I heard his name mentioned a few months back and since then, I've not seen anything written which didn't 'fit'.

    however, it could be someone completely different, especially in light of one clue from the TSF Twitter feed a couple of months back: "This tweet was posted just as Murphy would have walked off the field of play in Fulham’s third qualifying round first-leg match away to RNK Split. It was also posted via web as opposed to mobile, so unlikely he cheekily got his phone out straight after coming off to tweet!" Can we now rule Danny Murphy out? | Who Is The Secret Footballer? or did he just get someone else to tweet on his behalf?

    so - thoughts? plenty of clue lists out there if you want to investigate further, including a dedicated site... Who Is The Secret Footballer? | Working out who The Guardian's Secret Footballer is
  2. of course, if we could find this highlight clip then it might settle the matter once and for all!

    "[Howard] Webb, who for my money is the best referee we have, once showed me first-hand how he refuses to take any nonsense from players. After a series of free-kicks given against us, I ran towards him to remonstrate, shouting and swearing as I went. As I got to him, he swivelled round and poked a sausage-sized finger into my midriff. Winded, I found myself in the desperately uncomfortable position of being doubled over, while at the same time crying with laughter inside at the thought of anyone in the street where I grew up finding out that a referee – and a copper no less – had taken me down with a single prod of a finger. He finished me off by saying in an eerily calm voice: "Don't talk to me like that." Sometimes it is better to admit defeat. The shame, however, lives on."

    The Secret Footballer: When referees attack. Or just use your nickname | Football | The Guardian
  3. Who gives a ****?
    • Like Like x 1
  4. bored then smudge? :)
  5. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Not as bored as you if that claptrap is what turns you on! :)
  6. A wendyballer that can read and write? There shouldn't be too many to choose from.
  7. Although, at times, he is an odious little thug, there does appear to be a glimmer of intelligence straining to get out from Joey Barton; therefore, from your list, I would hazard he is most likely.
  8. Barton Intelligent?...No, what he has is a sh*t cnut, rat like cunning, the horrible bullying, gobshite soppy haircutted arrse.

    Like many people, he has tried to appear intelligent by the use of technology, self publicity and by using words of more than two syllables.
    He appears to actually believe that we deserve the dubious 'privilege' of hearing and reading his' objective, unbiased views'.

    If he uses a PR company - and something tells me that he is too arrogant to feel he needs one, unless it's to check the spelling or to remind him that what he has written isn't actually understood or known in the English language? - then he should get a refund, however, maybe there is some ghost writing occurring and the whole blog is some reporters idea of a joke?

    I'm saddened that a media organisation gives him the time of day, maybe a 'Princess Productions' type guru believes that any publicity is better than no publicity and will court scandal for its own ends - which in turn just fuels Barton's own ego. Why he feels that he has something worthwhile to say just illustrates what a pr*ck he is.

    Unfortunately, there are a few other examples/columns in other newspapers that also read as inane, egoistic drivel.

    I can honestly say that if, by some disaster of epics proportions, he ever ends up in the England Team and then scores the winning goal in the World cup final, I would still hate the cnut.

    He is the type of tw*t that, since primary school, I have gone out of my way to give a dig. There's just something about the sneering, snidey cnut that pushes my murderous rage button.

    As smudger says, really who GAF?

    There's untold match programmes and glossy football mags to buy if we want to read what these knobs have to say. My team, Gooners, constantly con me out of hard earned money to watch them perform like a clueless, gutless bunch of clowns - and as a supporter, I reserve the right to coat them incessantly for 89 minutes and cheer like a loon when they score in the 90th. The only time it may be worth reading what they have to say is when they retire and then we can learn the real reason why they missed that sitter or performed like a spacker on LSD....eh Merse/Adams/Wrighty/Sansom.

    Oh, did I mention that I think Barton's a cnut?

    Rant over.