Who is the richest man on Arrse?

anglo

LE
I'm just a poor pensioner, living hand to mouth on my meagre pensions
life is frecking hard

sad.gif
 
Tappet said:
I thought everyone on here was a powerfully built multi-millionaire Captain of Industry, with a 24 year old model as a wife, who we sire at least 3 times a night with our above averagely sized meaty organs, after drinking as many pints as we did when we were 18, and a garage full of supercars?

Further fixed, also FOC.
 
Not me, I’m as poor as a church mouse.

Edmund Blackadder walt. Unless you really have just had an enormous tax bill just after your wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.
 
I’m well behind on the wealth stakes.

You know those dreadful aristos who are always complaining that they don’t have enough money to fix the heating in their castle?

That’s me.

I’ve got a load of assets that I can never sell and a reasonably well paid job that just about covers the living costs of a family of four, with a fairly average middle class lifestyle.

I do a fairly good job presenting an illusion of wealth. I drive a Ferrari that actually cost less than a well specced Golf, our house is stunning but it’s falling apart, the speedboat on my drive was 1500 quid and doesn’t work properly, the wife’s Mercedes is leased on the cheapest possible deal we could find and her magnificent fake titties were freebies off the NHS.

We own half a hotel, pub and farm business that is mortgaged up to the hilt and has been hammered by the COVID.

I’m a long way off brand new Range Rover territory.

Lend us a tenner?

Why not open a high class brothel? The toffs will be queuing up to avoid the local "massage" parlors.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Why not open a high class brothel? The toffs will be queuing up to avoid the local "massage" parlors.

It’s a good idea and there’s certainly a gap in the market.

There is not a single brothel, sauna or massage parlour up here. Even in the rough western towns of Workington and Whitehaven.

Trust me I’ve checked.
 
My salary is less than I was earning when I retired from the Service two years ago, but I am in receipt of a tax free 30+ year AFPS 75 pension and a separate War Pension because of injuries and illness. Mortgage is all but paid off on the house where the family live; I'm separated and have but two years of school fees left to pay, still subsidised by the MOD, because of my medical discharge. I live pretty modestly (who doesn't at the moment?), in veterans' housing and my bank balance is the highest it's been for over 20 years. My pension numbers will come up this weekend on Euromillions and I will buy @Ravers place and be poor. Again.
 
It’s a good idea and there’s certainly a gap in the market.

There is not a single brothel, sauna or massage parlour up here. Even in the rough western towns of Workington and Whitehaven.

Trust me I’ve checked.
And the M6/A66 is becoming quite a logistics hub as well. Truck drivers...
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
And the M6/A66 is becoming quite a logistics hub as well. Truck drivers...
There is quite a nice little bistro at Kirby Thore that was formerly a very grotty pub.

By all accounts it was one of the key distribution hubs for illicit substances going to and from the North East.

The locals were very disappointed when it changed hands.
 
And does your wife keep horses ?
No. When we were courting I had an utter hooligan of a Hackney driving horse called Any Ten ( as thats what he would have instantly taken on in a fight) very impressive to watch but bloody terrifying to drive.
The future mrs B climbed aboard even after a runaway, came flying in trikes with me , helped with lambing sheep etc, a real soulmate .
After we married she has never done any of the above , ever again.
still besotted though after 28 years.
Thats my real wealth.
 
Last edited:
No. When we were courting I had an utter hooligan of a Hackney driving horse called Any Ten ( as thats what he would have instantly taken on in a fight) very impressive to watch but bloody terrifying to drive.
The future mrs B climbed aboard even after a runaway, came flying in trikes with me , helped with lambing sheep etc, a real soulmate I thought.
After we married she has never done any of the above , ever again.
still besotted though after 28 years.
Thats my real wealth.

She was sat beside you when you typed that.

Wasn't she.
 
I work six days a week, bought my own place a couple of years ago and don't have debts, and manage to stay away from being permanently poor, but I'm at that level where I get excited about how heavy the Quality Street tin that I chuck small change in weighs.
 
It’s a good idea and there’s certainly a gap in the market.

There is not a single brothel, sauna or massage parlour up here. Even in the rough western towns of Workington and Whitehaven.

Trust me I’ve checked.
Did the amateurs put them out of business?
 
It’s a good idea and there’s certainly a gap in the market.

There is not a single brothel, sauna or massage parlour up here. Even in the rough western towns of Workington and Whitehaven.

Trust me I’ve checked.
There are deffo whores though.
seared in my mind from when big bro ran a truck was going to pick him up from positioning a tipper at Workington Docks on a Sunday lunchtime, ready for the mon am discharge of a German Purlite bulker.
In bright sunlight at about 1 pm I watched two of the roughest whores imaginable climb the gangplank.
were talking fat fiftyish red plastic miniskirts over fat blotchy legs and faces like boxers with makeup.

Workington whores ! Even dont tell him pike probably wouldn’t!.
 
Top