Who invented the Condom?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by uncle_vanya, Nov 30, 2012.

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  1. It was rumoured that the Welsh invented the condom by using a sheeps bladder, but it was the English who refined the process by taking the bladder out of the sheep first.

    I know... hat, coat, zimmer frame, gloves........!!
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  2. No no no, the Welsh invented rubber gloves, their first design was of sheep's intestine. Later, the English decided to make a better and altogether more functional glove by removing it from the sheep first..? Crap joke I know, I'll just drown myself in what remains of my pint..
  3. The Royal Navy, as the Senior Service, has long been accredited with inventing shagging.

    It was the British Army however, that started using it on women.
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  4. 1976 want their joke back.
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  5. Ironically it was the catholic church...to stop priest's dicks smelling of castrato's and the nunneries from filling up with brats.
  6. Are you sitting comfortably? Good, then I'll begin ....
    AD 200
    Cave paintings dating back to the year 200 depict condom use, the earliest known visual evidence of their use.
    An Italian doctor by the name of Gabrielle Fallopius (for whom, coincidentally, the female fallopian tube was named) suggested that linen sheath condoms be used to protect against syphilis, a deadly epidemic at that time in history.
    Reports say farmers in Condom, France began using sheep guts as condoms, possibly the origin of the lambskin condom.
    Allegedly, the name "condom" was coined when Charles II was given oiled sheep intestines to use as condoms by a Dr. Condom. However, some believe the name "condom" came from the Latin word "condus" which means "vessel".
    Rubber is introduced as a component of condoms. Men are advised that these rubber condoms can be washed and reused until they crumble.
    The introduction of latex makes condoms cheap and disposable. Thus, the single-use condom is born. By World War II, latex condoms are mass produced and given to troops all over the world.
    The latex condom is improved by making them thinner, tighter and lubricated. Also, the reservoir tip is introduced that collects semen in the end, decreasing the risk of leakage and unintentional pregnancy.

    There now wasn't that interesting? Oi, you lot, wake up, I've finished..... blody ingrates, I dont know, try to give a sensible answer, wanders off muttering....
  7. The Welsh definition of an Englishman:-

    Someone who, given the choice of two sheep, will always pick the ugly one....
  8. I was, until I read this!

  9. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

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  10. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    The English definition of a Welshman;-

    "Oi. Is this the way to the M4 or what?".
  11. But regardless of all of that; if something is really old then the Chinese will always say that they invented it first, propaganda and all that...

    But! If something is more modern then American propaganda will always claim it as theirs. A US patent number will be quoted, and an American court will decide any dispute in favour of an American over any one else. If you don't believe this then research it for yourself and you'll soon see. Recently I saw a "new" American patent for an Air Rifle Magazine, even though my friends and I had them over 30 years ago! The inventor on the snorkel was said to be an American who recently died, even though snorkels are centuries older than America is! So somewhere there will be an American credited with inventing johnies, dunkeys, rubbers, sheaths, condoms or whatever you want to call them.

    I'm sure there are Americans who think that the world started with them, and that an American discovered Europe.
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  12. I thought the Romans invented them, it usually is the Romans or the Greeks