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Who has sex with prostitutes on Christmas Day?

I mentioned up thread a book by one of my favourite science-communicators who was a working girl to fund her Phd. This is an exerpt from her book, posted on FB. It is the last one that gets me every time.

I'm bored tonight and am struggling to keep busy. Here a few snippets from my book to keep you busy.

Enjoy!

****

“Your glasses make you look really cute.” I cannot respond with his cock in my mouth. “Can I try them on?” he asks.

I roll my eyes upwards to look at him, and empty my mouth. “Sure,” I respond, slightly confused. I take my glasses off, hand them to my client, and resume my task.

“Wow,” he exclaims after he puts them on. I glance up: he is squinting through the lens. “How do you see with these on?”

I snort his cock into the back of my throat. I am not prepared for the sudden invasion of dick down my esophagus. I gasp for air as I yank him out of my throat. Tears run down my face. I take deep breaths to control my laughter.

He looks concerned. “Are you okay?”

I quickly search for a response. I wipe the tears from my eyes. “I’m fine. I couldn’t see how big you were.”

He grins at his cock as he hands me my glasses back. Nailed it.

***

“Anaconda guy is back,” the receptionist informs me. “He requested you again. I told you he likes you.”

I can feel my vagina packing a bag and leaving. I snort: “He likes me because he can fit in me. Hard pass. It’s as thick as my ankle. I won’t last the rest of the evening. It’s like getting fucked by a train.”

The receptionist leaves and returns after a few minutes. “He’ll pay you double,” she reports back.

I briefly ponder how much being in discomfort for the next few days is worth. This guy is large enough to have had women leave his house upon looking at it. The value of his cock is approximately two large handfuls of lubricant.

“Alright, challenge accepted. Let’s do this. But I want chicken nuggets,” I reply. The receptionist leaves to arrange the booking. I grab extra lube on my way out of the room. If I’m going to be a gladiator walking into a colosseum of dick, I should get fed for my efforts.

***

Sonia peers through the two-way mirror. “What is he doing?” she asks.

I glance at the heavily tattooed man on the waiting-room couch. “He's knitting,” I reply.

The receptionist walks in. “He’s crocheting, you uncultured sluts.”

I am bitterly disappointed he doesn’t pick me.

Maria is excited. “I’m going to fuck my way to a new beanie!”

***

The owner’s wife made lamingtons. I shove one in my mouth. One of the workers looks confused by her last booking.

“He made me suck him off in a unicorn costume.” I peer over my book from my spot lying on the couch. I silently offer her a lamington. We eat in silence. The receptionist makes horse noises from the other room.

***

I have a lot of trouble understanding thick accents. Either this guy wants me to piss on his feet, or he’s saying that I’ll be in for a treat. I honestly can’t tell which. This is going to be a long thirty minutes.

***

A woman comes screaming through the front door.

“You screwed my husband!” she yells at the receptionist.

“That’s my staff’s job,” she replies. I laugh from my spot on the couch out the back. I'm playing with a pet rat. I feed him fruit. He bites my finger.

“Little bastard,” I laugh. The woman whose husband apparently lives here thinks I’m talking to her. She is incoherent now. The receptionist deals with her. Don’t cheat on your spouse.

***

He works as an emergency services dispatcher.

“I tried.” His voice is barely a whisper.” He’s curled up in my lap. His tears soak my shirt. “I tried so hard. I can still hear it.” The gunshot wakes him up at night. He was the last person she spoke to.

***

Book synopsis:
If you’ve ever wanted to know what it’s like as a sex worker, or how the words “dick cheese” can be used in perfect, horrifying context, then this is a book for you. Surprising. Insightful. Don't drink liquids while reading. This is not a “Happy Hooker” story. This is a “Hooker who is sick of your bullshit” story.

Link: Pizza, Pincushions and Playing It Straight
 

endure

GCM
Who can afford sex with a prostitute on Xmas day?

Now Boxing Day when you've opened your presents and counted all the cash that you've been given is a different matter altogether...
 
Who can afford sex with a prostitute on Xmas day?

Now Boxing Day when you've opened your presents and counted all the cash that you've been given is a different matter altogether...

If the info from Stoke is correct, the spare change down the back of your sofa would see you right...
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
Apparently you can get a prozzy for £4 in Stoke.
A mate has checked on Adultwork and calls bullshit, it's at least a tenner he says.
 
If the info from Stoke is correct, the spare change down the back of your sofa would see you right...

What do you get for £4 though, asking for a friend
 
An STI of your choosing...

1209_img65227.gif
 
Well they do say “a dog is for life, not just for Christmas”...

...in Stoke though I’d still expect change.

It's now "Dogging is for life, not just for Christmas"
 
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