Army Rumour Service

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Who has sex with prostitutes on Christmas Day?


I'm disappointed with this thread. I thought it was an advert or a special offer.


Book Reviewer
Just trying to work this out burn Maths isn’t my strong point so bare with me....

Average cock: 15cm
Average pumps up a whore: 100

thats 150m of cock per client x 500,000 clients

that’s about what, 1,500km of cock??

I hope she was serviced regularly....I mean I hope they have they changed the rubber....

No wait, isn’t she due resurfacing?

A hundred pumps? Blimey!


War Hero
Went to the red light district in Hannover on Xmas eve once for a quite knee trembler. Only place open was Nxxxxxr alley. We were flying out to Bosnia on boxing day so I parted with 30 marks for a very unsatisfactory 3 seconds of semi pleasure (it was cold).
According to the ladies of the night, three types

The first: as expected, people who choose not to celebrate Christmas for one reason or another. “They booked on the day and were just happy to find someone who was working, although a few of us were,” she says of her past Christmas Day clients.

The second: people who simply get stressed out by the occasion and use sex as a coping mechanism. “I got the impression they were looking to blow off steam

The final category: those who desperately want to celebrate the occasion, but have no one to spend it with. This constitutes a substantial slice of the population.

Christmas is so commercial these days; everything is about money.

In my day one would invite a homeless person round for dinner and if she was suitably attractive offer her a bed and some male company for the night.

...and if she said yes, well that was a real act of Christmas charity.
is Christmas not the time for a 3 bird roast...

Ho, Ho, Ho ?
If I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time, I would have invited her to my parents house.

Who has sex with prostitutes on Christmas Day?​

Me if the wife doesnt start putting out

Fecking Bromide got nothing on wedding cake
"I wouldn't, we don't have enough chairs for random hookers on Christmas day."
Is this the "Who has sex with rugby players on christmas day" thread?