Who ate all the pies?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by CplFoodspoiler, Feb 17, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. CplFoodspoiler

    CplFoodspoiler War Hero Book Reviewer

    Britain's fattest woman Brenda Flanagan-Davies weighs 40STONE | Mail Online

    This made me chuckle. Full of irony - not sure it was intended or not.
    Can't walk to the shower without getting out of breath, not able to leave her bed, is on (ding ding all aboard outrage bus is leaving) BENEFITS - no shit?

    And the best quote in the article is a cracker;

    'I get tired easily, so every day I drink a litre and a half of diet Coke and the same in diet Irn Bru. I pick diet to save on a few calories.'

    Note to her husband - STOP stocking the fucking fridge!
     
  2. Well as she can't move, take away the fridge from next to her bed, stop feeding her what she wants and only what she needs, if she wants it that badly she can walk to get it.
     
  3. Size of a Camel......whoever does her shopping for her should be locked up.
     
  4. The missus had a fat fucker that she had to attend to as a district nurse. She was so fat the ambulance crew sent to take her to hospital refused to lift her. In the end the fire brigade had to come out cut a hole in the side of the house and lift her out. Programe on C5 next week about para medics and the fat cunts.
     
  5. That's moose-knuckle and no mistake!
     
  6. For some unknown reason being thin is seen as 'not your fault' but being fat is... She actually has a similar 'condition' to anorexia or bulemia, but it goes the other way.

    If her husband truely loves her he needs to help. And that isn't making sure she has chocolate in the fridge.

    The fridge needs to go. If she is eating 6,000 cals a day, let's set a goal of 5,750 (that is about ONE choccy bar), when she is happy with that, let's drop it again. That is what THEY can do right now. Lots of support and help. Maybe he could match her diet in support or help in other ways.

    After that, she needs a shrink and it would probably best for somesort of physio/specialist sports type to get in there and give her some exercise.

    If a walk to the shower tires her, walk there more often.
     
  7. I'd fuck her......
     
  8. with a baseball bat

    sorry delayed reaction
     
  9. Fuck me - Its Honey Monsters mum !
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. "Youu. Can'tss why don't you have sympathey for us fat Fcukeers.... just becoz were are special & different & God's chosen ones and live on the Estate......... It's me Umin Rites to snaffle 20 mars Bars each day.... and they have to be deep fried...... hmmm, slobber luverly.... now where is my commode... I feel an urged to curl a few out...... More Benefits please chancellor......where's me arse sevant....?? Boo hoo..!"

    Says the lady.......
     
  11. Fat, useless, waste of oxygen lump of lard. No contribution to society whatsoever.

    Perhaps her shower could be rigged up with some zyklon B - it wouldn't matter if she got out of breath walking in 'cos she wouldn't need to worry about walking back to bed.

    Rodney2q

    Oh yes, Naafi - bum, tits, arrse etc etc
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. We got one at work who's so fat she parks in the disabled place outside the front of the building and when the lift to the first floor were she works was U/S they sat her down stairs as she couldnt walk up the steps to the first floor were she works. I've seen her with the usual suspects for breakfast....bacon roll and diet coke.
     
  13. So 65 year old on benefits marrys an efalump, wonder why? Article says they have a sex life, so she wanks him off or blows im every friday night.

    Apart from Pizza, chiocolate & fizzy drinks I'll bet she's cheap to run, he gets carers allowance, no doubt a car (bet it does not have a wide load sticker on the back)

    She had a gastric Band fitted, must have been a big un or she's snapped it......Fat Cunt

    Fucking annoys me

    and breathe...................................................
     
  14. What a failed human being. How many pies could Sweeney Todd have made out of her?