Which type of Cult should I start?

#62
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Then I saw this: The L.A.-based shaman and 'spirit hacker' who has wooed Norway's Princess Martha | Daily Mail Online
Fukcin A! Shamen comes back from the dead and marries a Norwegian princess. Now there are always enough gullible Yanks in the world (he's from LA, so he must have got the idea out there somewhere) but I never figured the Scandies could be fertile recruiting ground.
What type of Cult should I set up and run? I need the advice of my fellow ARRSErs
Thanks for that link. That is amazing. The Norwegian Royal Family must so pleased about this. It shows how they cherish cultural diversity.
The woman is 4th in line for the throne! It sounds a bit far from the throne but then Princess Victoria of Kent was 4th in line, none of her older uncles produced legitimate children and she ended up Queen for quite a while

I have seen post on ARRSE from posters upset that HRH Prince Harry married an American.
At least Meghan seems reasonably sane despite the fact that she comes from California.
The Norwegian princess sounds as bonkers as her boyfriend who is from California.
 
#63
In Scotland we already have a cult, they are called the SNP. The blind unquestioning adherents follow them like sheep to the slaughter!
 
#64
You're going to have to include the word "Master" in your chosen title, and get messages from "Jeeeeesus". Vanilla Jesus doesn't cut it.

Look at that - I've just found a name for my new band.
 
#66
Terry Pratchett (of blessed memory) as ever put it best -

"What have I always believed? That on the whole, and by and large, if a man lived properly, not according to what any priests said, but according to what seemed decent and honest inside, then it would, at the end, more or less, turn out all right."

View attachment 393241

If you'll excuse me my Thieves Guild permit needs renewal.
It's a pity he's dead. Good chap.
 
#67
In Scotland we already have a cult, they are called the SNP. The blind unquestioning adherents follow them like sheep to the slaughter!
I'll give you that. I'm one of them.
And?


Perhaps...the lesser of The Three Weevils.
I should put my trust back in the safe hands of Westminster again.:oops:
" Better together, Strong & erm....stable.
2017 general election
PartySlogan
NationalConservative
  • Forward, Together
  • Strong and Stable
Green Party of England and Wales
  • A Green Party for a Confident and Caring Britain
  • The Green Guarantee
[17]Labour PartyFor the Many, not the few[5]
Liberal DemocratsChange Britain's Future[18]
UK Independence PartyBritain Together[19]
ScotlandScottish Green PartyOur Future is Green[33]
Scottish National PartyStronger for Scotland[20]
WalesPlaid CymruDefending Wales[34]
Northern IrelandAlliance Party of Northern IrelandChange Direction[22]
Democratic Unionist PartyStanding Strong For Northern Ireland[35]
Green Party in Northern Ireland#PuttingYouFirst[36]
People Before Profit AlliancePeople Before Profit[37]
Sinn FéinStanding up for Equality, Rights, Irish Unity[24]
Social Democratic and Labour PartyTaking Our Seats Taking a Stand[38]
Traditional Unionist VoiceDrain the Swamp[39]
Ulster Unionist PartyFor A Stronger, Better Union

Anyway, on the subject of cnuts...pardon me.....cults, surely the Vatican has it all sewn up?;)
 
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#68
It's a pity he's dead. Good chap.
The candle that burns twice as bright, burns half as long and all that.

But such a pretty light he made, and a long shadow he cast.
 
#69
When it comes to leading a cult, there can be only one that you need to emulate.


Negan from the Walking Dead has got to be it.

He’s on a bit of a downer in the last episode but like all charismatic cult leaders, he’ll be back on his feet slaying the opposition and leading his followers to domineering supremacy in no time at all!
 
#70
You need to give yourself Guru for a title, then add the word tantric, to all your website literature.

Watch the milfs come rolling in for service
 
#71
TBH, round my area, at 16 there's a reason.
Greggs shareholding,pie scoffing, repulsive, smelly, squint eyed, thigh chaffing pigs.
Usually walking onto the road with their mucus smeared nostrils gummed onto Iphones.
Pfft.... like there are 16 year old virgins in Fa'kirk
 
#72
I like this idea too and have thought about it.

Branch Davidians (Waco) and Peoples Temple (Jonestown) were the Inbetweeners whereby I think the promised land lies. Providing you dont go "Full Retard" and start killing people, stockpiling weapons and claiming you invented the full stop, at its lowest form you are no worse than a pikey and at its top end, a Scientologist. Inbetween, is the under the radar.

Im happy to help by the way but I must be a joint god, I only want other people to pay me a good wage so I can leave the camp to gather 'knowledge' (have a few holidays), cook me good food, sex on demand and piss in a communal pit where we can throw people in for punishment.

I can provide 100 acres of Aussie Bush so I need a supply of poison to kill every grub, insect, arachnid, lizard, snake and galah in those acres because Australia is grim as fuck outback.
 
#73
#74
Mega-Church? This secondhand car salesman, conman, estate agent pastor, Joel 0steen, is based down in Houston, his mega-church is a converted basketball stadium. I did once look it up out of interest and he is making, sorry not him, his business his church is making tens of million$ a year.
There are two principles, if one can call them that, behind all cults, religious or otherwise. These are:

The promise of false hope and/or

The promise of the abnegation of personal responsibility.

Taking one at a time, the first is popular in the US because the US is based on "rugged individualism," or some such. (I don't mean this as a criticism, but as an observation.) Partly as a consequence of this, there is no free healthcare, and also, if you admit to an illicit drug addiction you may well be locked up. If you have the money to afford private health care or health insurance or perhaps an attorney, no problem, but if you don't, it may well be you will turn to people like Osteen.

This is why people like him make so much money, by offering free healing and triumph over addiction. If you listen to the sermon he preaches in that video, these are the very things he vicariously promises. Doubtless he believes in the so-called Great Commission, (Matthew 28:19-20) but that's as may be. There are thousands like him, and the disasters some of them have caused through so-called "healings," are well documented in James Randi's book, The Faith Healers.

Of course every once in a while, as luck would have it, such Faith Healers do have their successes, and they emphasize these while omitting to mention, or glossing over, their failures. Oddly enough, so-called Spiritualist Mediums and those who promote schemes to win at one or another kind of gambling do the same thing. I wonder who copied from whom?

On top of their offers of healing, they also promote a "Prosperity Gospel," the long and short of which is that you'll prosper if you only "Give generously," to their church. Usually it's they who prosper, but they keep that bit quiet. Somehow, very few if any, have ever been prosecuted for fraud.

One of their biggest secrets is that everything is attributed to the magical intervention of some sky pixie whose earthly representative they happen to be. Suppose then you come to such a church with a raging addiction and are somehow "Cured," by them. They will say it's all down to JC and his little ray of sunshine. He isn't there to take a bow, but they are, and, because you've been brainwashed by them, you'll give all the credit to JC and none to yourself for waking up to yourself and doing something about your problem(s).

On the other hand, if you aren't healed or you can't quit your addiction, that's because you didn't have enough faith. Heads they win, tails you lose. It's a damn good system, never fails. For them, at any rate, and the wonder is, so many people still swallow this rot.

And this leads us to the other great principle, that of the abnegation of personal responsibility. If one looks at the two worst dictatorships in history, those of Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin, one sees in both a cult of personality where the leader assumes all responsibility. Oddly enough at the end of the Second World War Hitler shot himself rather than face responsibility for the terrible destruction he'd caused, but that didn't stop many of his soldiers becoming very indignant when they were arrested by the Allies.

"But I was only following orders!" That their orders for example were to supervise a thousand murders a day didn't concern them; that was Hitler's problem, not theirs. More's the pity, many of Stalin's minions who'd committed even worse atrocities, got away with it, presumably because they were on the winning side.

In the present day, we have The Welfare State, which although it was more than likely intended as a timely helping hand-up, has become for many a continuous handout. Whether intentionally or not, the State has fostered in the UK's "Chavs," and Australia's "Bogans," an attitude that, "I'm not responsible for earning a living etc etc, because the State will provide."

So there you are, OP, go in for religion or politics, or some combination of both and you can't go wrong, although many others will ...
 
#77
Mega-Church? This secondhand car salesman, conman, estate agent pastor, Joel 0steen, is based down in Houston, his mega-church is a converted basketball stadium. I did once look it up out of interest and he is making, sorry not him, his business his church is making tens of million$ a year.


This is his $10.5 million house



Go for it.

You see this is what's got me thinking......

In doing my research I've channel-hopped the religious feeds on Sky. Forgetting the low budget Nigerian efforts of Paster Oligbubububu Ngbubu shouting on stage behind a school lectern and a front row looking like a Kids Company impersonator/revival meeting, the high-end budget output is amazing. Most of the televangelist crowd have haus fraus with bigger bouffants than the Pope's mitre and make up that looks like a tranny put it on in the back of a 432 on a night move, so you can understand why they might tend to spend the collection plate on cocaine and hooers. The real scam, and you have to hand it to them, is selling the tat that goes with the American dream. one channel is flogging, for $20 a go, a piece of cloth that is "blessed" by someone whose qualifications for holiness go no further than white teeth and big hair, in return for a 100%, cast-iron, guaranteed promise of wealth and prosperity - you know coz God's all about getting rich. Some homy's gettin' paid on that PONZI, I can tall ya!

Though I do rember watching a Reggie Yates documentary on BBC3 about Soot Effrikan televangelists - one bloke took to blessing g-strings and selling them to his young female "disciples". I'm going to have to look into that.

on the whole, if I'm going to have an isolates compound can I not have one that is a bit less...erm... "rustic"?
 
#78
I like this idea too and have thought about it.

Branch Davidians (Waco) and Peoples Temple (Jonestown) were the Inbetweeners whereby I think the promised land lies. Providing you dont go "Full Retard" and start killing people, stockpiling weapons and claiming you invented the full stop, at its lowest form you are no worse than a pikey and at its top end, a Scientologist. Inbetween, is the under the radar.

Im happy to help by the way but I must be a joint god, I only want other people to pay me a good wage so I can leave the camp to gather 'knowledge' (have a few holidays), cook me good food, sex on demand and piss in a communal pit where we can throw people in for punishment.

I can provide 100 acres of Aussie Bush so I need a supply of poison to kill every grub, insect, arachnid, lizard, snake and galah in those acres because Australia is grim as **** outback.
If you're going to start a cult you'll need a compound and a stockpile of weapons. Trust me on this one.
 
#80
The real scam, and you have to hand it to them, is selling the tat that goes with the American dream. one channel is flogging, for $20 a go, a piece of cloth that is "blessed" by someone whose qualifications for holiness go no further than white teeth and big hair, in return for a 100%, cast-iron, guaranteed promise of wealth and prosperity - you know coz God's all about getting rich. Some homy's gettin' paid on that PONZI, I can tall ya!
That's not a new idea, it's a variant of the Medieval trade in relics. Here's a reliquary with a bit of class:

https://www.habsburger.net/en/chapt...ch-good-price-medieval-trade-religious-relics

It's supposed to contain a thorn from the Crown of Thorns. The craftsmanship is exquisite, there is no other way to describe it. Who needs old rags?
 

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