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Wheres Santa?

#5
If santas a Jap, does that mean there's a nasty nip in the air?
 
#9
And the big question is: Could the British Army do Santa's job better?

Suggestions for which units could do the job for him and how they'd go about it?

Go on Fal, you know you want to!
 
#10
Well he's in Malaysia now apparently. I heard he picked up a chick with a dick in Thailand.
 
#11
Apparently Father Christmas is disappointed with his proposed pay increase of only 3.4%, while deductions are to increase, giving santa an overall net percentage pay rise of -0.45%, Santa is in arbitration with Parcel Force (who Santa works for), if the arbitration fails, Santa is believed to be contemplating the creation of a terrorist cell in the North Pole inflicting terrorism around the world until his pay demands are meet. Santa is also dissapointed that Parcel Force are considering restructuring their North Pole depot and replacing the sleigh with a new ford transit van, in red livery... saying that the Sleigh no longer complies with stringient EU regulations on emissions, with the transit also being more cost effective, and the majority of his work now being sub-contracted to Polish postman
 
#13
When Santa got stuck up the chimney, he began to shout,
"You boys and girls won't get any toys until you pull me out!
There's soot in my sack ,and my nose is black and my throat is tickling too.
When Santa got stuck up the chimney ....Atchoo!. Atchoo! Atchoo.!!
 
#14
I am walting as santa as I type all be it minus the beard and red suit,I have however lied to my kids that he will be visiting tonight .....well hes not its me... Ha, walting it up as a father christmas NCO 1st north pole sleigh Regt and I've got the order of the elf first class .... ok i lied i bought that of the legion of frontiersmen

think I`ll leave the malt alone now
 
#15
3milesniper said:
I am walting as santa as I type all be it minus the beard and red suit,I have however lied to my kids that he will be visiting tonight .....well hes not its me... Ha, walting it up as a father christmas NCO 1st north pole sleigh Regt and I've got the order of the elf first class .... ok i lied i bought that of the legion of frontiersmen

think I`ll leave the malt alone now
Lol the kids will be saying some pissed up cnut walked into their room last night but they didnt see santa :D
 
#16
just been up to mrs sniper for a pressie replen who is wrapping said articles and got the dreaded "how many have you had big lad"
 
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