Where theres blame, theres a claim?!.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by The13thDukeOfWybourne, Sep 30, 2007.

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  1. " I was using a pneumataic drill whilst half-way up an old un-secured ladder when ... " or " I was just walking along minding my own business when i fell over on my fat arrse ..." and " I was filling my car with a jerrycan but couldn't see what i was doing, my mate passed me a packet of swan vestas etc etc ... ".

    Where there's blame?! More like where there's complete stupidity, there's someone even more stupid to hand you cash!

    Whatever next? Now, let me get on with welding the handle back on this box of fireworks ....
  2. You jest. Only last week i was filling up at a service station on an A road when a woman Got out of her car and fag in hand started filling up her motor with Unleaded "Super duper variety".

    The words "Stupid slag" were shouted by several different people and she said "Oh sorry, i forgot you weren't allowed to smoke in public places anymore".

    Seriously how do these people remember to breathe in and out.
  3. The best one has to be "I was given the wrong ladder"
  4. Agreed. Did someone force him up at gun point? What happened to "that laders not safe / wrong type etc? FFS its about time people started taking responsibility for their own actions again.
  5. The army didnt pay for my broken ankle after an operational HALO jump where can i get a claim form ?
  6. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    "I was walking through reception at work and despite the floor obviously being soaking wet, slippy and a bit tricky, no-one had put a sign up saying that this was the case. I fell on my fat arse and because I'm not very bright I was awarded £5000.00"

    Or words to that effect.

  7. Here; www.youareafuckwit.com
  8. Shit you're fast, beat me to it. No wonder you're called Flash.
  9. Sounds like that was your own fault. However. if you were a RAF Typist with a sore thumb, then i'm sure the MOD would bend over backwards to award with millions!
  10. Don't you have to be a lesbian too, to get full pay out?
  11. actionman is chainsaw etc
  12. Quell suprise. :roll:

    Anyone got a home address for him? He's clearly lonely.
  13. Twos up Flashheart.
  14. It's the way of the world. Every misfortune MUST be someone else's fault:

    1. Clumsy cnut slipping in puddle the size of Windermere.
    2. Unruly teenage brat vandalises neighbourhood, must be ADHD.
    3. V. small dog bites chav built like a bull (who was heartbroken by the affair).
    4. Nasty chap in boat steals iPod.

    1. Look where you are cuking well going.
    2. Batter the little sh1t more often.
    3. Break the dog's neck.
    4. Shoot to kill.
  15. I thought a classic was one I heard of in Glasgow.

    A council worker was walking across the yard and tripped over his boot lace. He then proceeds to sue the council.
    His reason.
    The council supplied the boots and failed to teach him how to tie the laces.

    And the dumb cnut won.

    I can't even find stupid things to sue my boss for.........

    And I've looked