Where in fuck did Squaddies get standards from?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by re-stilly, Jan 24, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I know this is probably pissing in the wind, but after the fucking disastrous showing on some of the women threads and people actually having STANDARDS what in fuck is happening. I am grateful for a fuck from anything with a tits and a fanny and my standards are so low you could wipe them off the sole of your shoes.

    Lets face it pissed, no money and you have the chance of a bed, a lift and breakfast you would shag a 25 stone monster.

    Now man up and stop acting like a bunch of spoilt hermers.

    I feel better now.
    • Like Like x 7
  2. Mate, err......what the fuck are you babbling about. All I can understand is something about - women, fucking, tits, and standards. Now I reckon I could assemble something out of that but it's a stretch.
  3. Ahh, bollocks it's morning and the meths haven't kicked in yet.
  4. Aaaah, copy......your on the cooking sherry. Stupid me, don't worry about it mate, they're (women) are like buses......there's another one along in 20 minutes.
  5. Do today's crop still attach any kudo's to winning the munter-hunt? Back in the day this was regarded as an infallible indicator of potential
    allyness and other godlike qualities.
  6. RE-S, I ve shagged some terrors in my time 25st would make some anorexic, I remmember shagging one horror , it was like trying to collapse a bouncy castle in an emergency!!

    Standards! or closet Hermmers that is the qustion?
    • Like Like x 1
  7. The rot set in when Wonk Mong started a catty hate campaign against PR Totty rather than just trying to get his cock into her. Now the site is full of blokes criticising perfectly serviceable slappers for their hair, clothes, handbags, shoes etc.

    Perhaps there should be a 'personal grooming and fashion' forum to corral all these limpwrists and prevent them polluting the rest of ARRSE with the whiff of scented hair gel and the rancid stink of half-digested courgette fritters.
    • Like Like x 3
  8. I blame the fucking civvy element of the site for influencing the young sprogs into having these supposed standards and general gaying activities.

  9. Some woman I've fucked are like buses. Literally.
  10. Standards whilst perusing pictures of women are, quite drastically, different to my standards when an actual shag is on the cards. I'd hazard to guess most other lads are in the same boat.
  11. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Your avatar and signature show your standards perfectly!! :)
  12. I think the whole standards thing is an internet phenomenon.

    Its like reverse peer pressure, some one comes along and comments something like "god no I'd rather poke my own eyes out" and then its a man test to see who can say no in the most decisive way.

    In reality I've seen blokes who could be described by the fairer sex as" not completely gipping" walking hand in hand declaring undying love with some creatures straight out of the canteen in starwars.

    So I think I'll go as far as to say the disgustingly yet manly low standards that we all know and have been part of for the best parts of our lives are still disgustingly Low, just not on the internerd where there may be fine ladies reading......or not.
  13. Standards so low I could walk under a snake's belly with a top hat and high heels on.
  14. I would like to point out that I do have high standards,
    unfortuneatly they dissolve very quickly in alcohol.

    Many a night spent in the Brompton stomp has ended in a pledge of temperence at the sight of some Hippoblubberpig taking up an entire double bed. Too many times have I found womens undergarments that could have doubled as siege catapaults spread about my bedroom floor, and all too often I have woken up next to a beached whale and wondered "What on earth was I thinking of?"

    Still a shag is a shag and it is better to have loved and legged it than never to have loved at all,
  15. You' d shag her thou wouldnt you!! .....mind you I had some filthy PMs from JD, so I passed them to Jarrod!!