Where has my coolness gone?

#1
I like to think that I had my finger on the pulse when I was a teenager, long hair, 501's, boots, a kick arrse record/cd collection. In my early twenties I had short hair money in my back pocket and life was full of going to pubs, clubs, live bands chasing crumpet.
Now I'm in my late twenties I think 90% of the new music is commercial shite, the teenage "fashions" make my eyes bleed and every cnut over 20 who can grow a beggers beard wants to look like James Blunt or some other ten a penny scruffy indie pop git.

The final straw came last night when a friend ask me to help promote a charity auction. Usual stuff, signed guitars, t shirts, posters - the usual sort of stuff. I looked at the list of 20 odd items and I only recognised two.
Paolo Nutini's signed guitar and a poster signed by Ice Cube.....ffs I had rap!

I'm off to listen to Nirvana on my iPod and pretend it's 1994 all over again (can't play it loud as it annoys the neighbours) :oops:
 
#2
Same place as your hair most likely!!
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#3
Nah! Cool was long drape jackets and drainpipe trousers; the whole suit being in pillar box red aor sky blue. Black brothel creepers on feet, black shirt with string tie and brylcreem all over quiffed hair. A flick knife in pocket and the 'Teddy Bears' singing on the Dansette.
Now, that was cool!
 
#4
skivivor said:
Same place as your hair most likely!!
Don't get me started on my hair!!!! It's got more silver in it than some thing really really silvery...... then there's my nasal hair! Where the feck does that come from. I have to trim it back with a Fly Mo or I risk having a small child use it as a swing!
 
#5
Maybe you grew up?
 
#6
LordVonHarley said:
skivivor said:
Same place as your hair most likely!!
Don't get me started on my hair!!!! It's got more silver in it than some thing really really silvery...... then there's my nasal hair! Where the feck does that come from. I have to trim it back with a Fly Mo or I risk having a small child use it as a swing!
Nasal hair? No problem. I use a Zippo on mine. You just have to make it snappy and remember to hold your breath.

If the blaze gets out of control, blow down your hooter sharpish and snort some soapy water.... Because, LVH, you're worth it.
 
#7
LVF, when your kid says to you "I really like that Mad World song, do you Dad?", and you reply "Yeah, I remember it the first time it came out, I think I was at University..." And she just gives you a blank stare and says "First time, what do you mean?", that's when it's time to hang up your leather "trapping jacket".

At least you've got hair, mine got lost about the same time as the Royal Irish lads did in Freetown! I have a crew cut now "for work"! Honest....
 
#8
LordVonHarley said:
I'm off to listen to Nirvana on my iPod and pretend it's 1994 all over again (can't play it loud as it annoys the neighbours) :oops:
Ahhh... The early nineties... I was on a roll then! When I started to loose my cool (and my civvie job) I joined the army to postpone the inevitable for a few years. That worked a charm!

Can't agree with your Nerdvana choice of music, though! Bloody hippies...
 
#9
Can't sympathise as the only time I was cool was when sitting in a draft. And I went bald in my mid 20s, probably worrying about not being cool.

Bugger.
 
#10
Cuddles First Law of Cool

People who want or feel the need to be cool, aren't.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#11
Give yourself a slap you young whippersnapper. Its against the law to feel uncool in your twenties because you're thirties are just around the corner and they are fab and groovy, man.

Get yourself the new Chemical Brothers CD. Download the Arctic Monkeys covering that Girls Aloud song on the Radio 1 website... "We're gift wrapped kitty cats..." That one. Cant remember the title - Alzheimers you know? Buy yourself a PINK JACKET. And wear it.

Bah.
 
#12
King_of_the_Burpas said:
LordVonHarley said:
skivivor said:
Same place as your hair most likely!!
Don't get me started on my hair!!!! It's got more silver in it than some thing really really silvery...... then there's my nasal hair! Where the feck does that come from. I have to trim it back with a Fly Mo or I risk having a small child use it as a swing!
Nasal hair? No problem. I use a Zippo on mine. You just have to make it snappy and remember to hold your breath.

If the blaze gets out of control, blow down your hooter sharpish and snort some soapy water.... Because, LVH, you're worth it.
I prefer the leatherman approach, its handy for boils too :oops:
 
#13
LordVonHarley said:
skivivor said:
Same place as your hair most likely!!
Don't get me started on my hair!!!! It's got more silver in it than some thing really really silvery...... then there's my nasal hair! Where the feck does that come from. I have to trim it back with a Fly Mo or I risk having a small child use it as a swing!
Plenty of time to worry when you get older.

No sign of the ear hair yet then? It's on it's way - thought it might have arrived with the old hooter hair.

Saves the cost of Amplivox in later life if your hearing survives that long.
 
#14
By the time you're 70 you'll have added around another inch to your penis's length, so unlike the older generations, thanks to Viagra you'll have a larger knob AND be able to do something with it!

On the downside, your nose and your ears continue to grow, so you'll be too damned ugly to trap any decent fillies unless you're also incredibly wealthy!
 
#15
Ah, the '90's.. crying over the song " When you and I were young Maggie " and reading the reports bout the unrest in South Africa where Baden Powell and Winnie Churchill were larging it up..

'course all that talk about the Gay '90's was a bit offputting....
 
#16
you could always cultivate your nostril and ear hair.....and with the skilful application of some wax comb it over....a la mr charlton of man United fame :)
 
#17
In the words of the world's greatest sage

"I used to rock and roll all night and party ev-er-y day. Then it was every other day."

"Everyone knows rock n' roll attained perfection in 1974. It's a scientific fact."

"I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich."
 
#18
I was cool, in 1989 with a GPMG. Later, with something much lighter and more accurate but made by Mattel, I felt... diminished...

Then someone told me I hadn't ever been cool, not even with the Gimpy - can you believe that?
 
#19
lastresort said:
I was cool, in 1989 with a GPMG. Later, with something much lighter and more accurate but made by Mattel, I felt... diminished...

Then someone told me I hadn't ever been cool, not even with the Gimpy - can you believe that?
Not cool with a GPMG?! Was he mad? It's impossible not to be cool when cradling the love of your life in your arms.

1989, though. Were you wearing '85 Pattern combats? That might just about have done it...
 
#20
I don't remember the pattern of the combats, but not the same as the cabbage suits now issued. The webbing was '58 if that helps... (reaching through the mists of time.... the rattle of the link and the ambush commander saying "don't lie there looking at me, get some fire down!")
 

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