Where do piles come from ?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ciggie, Mar 13, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. After years of abusing every substance you can possibly imagine, I am picking grapes from down south. Am I eating too much cheese ?
  2. probably pushing too much fudge.
  3. there varicose veins of the arrse from too much bumming use more lube
  4. I found out they are actually solid, and cannot be popped.

    Having sterilised them with listerine, I tried popping with a needle, I tried slicing with toenail clippers, and even a razor blade. you come away with chunks of flesh but never actually managed to burst them, I had presumed they were a Blister of sorts I was wrong.

    Listerine is not a fluid to ever put near your ricker!
  5. If this is kosher, you must be double jointed....
  6. After that sort of talk, bet Pillager gets a saucy PM from MDN any time now...
  7. ffs listerine as an anti septic you owe me a new keyboard for the beer i've just over it :-d
  8. It was a drunken achievement.

    involving squatting over a cam cream mirror,
  9. WTF were you thinking?!
  10. Piles are usually a sign that you have been straining to pass poo.
  11. Or Pregnant, or you just really deserve them.
  12. Listerine is an antiseptic, and I was trying to pop piles, evidently Id want to disinfect them.

    Yeah, and Im Nails! I might be stupid but how many of you would go for a sphincter rinse with listerine!
  13. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Lack of hygiene, more vigorous use of the wire brush and plenty dettol should help.
  14. Or that you've been putting mouthwash on your anus and cutting it with blades of various different persuasions.
  15. Anusol is a rip off, Listerine works!