Right. Where on the Plain are the Bustards? Because: 1. Last year was Goose, the year before, Turkey. Now the Victorian family fancies something a bit more exotic. 2. It's the ultimate free-range bird (geddit?) 3. It is highly unlikely that there is a feckin' Nigella/Hugh/Delia/Mary Berry recipe for one. So Mrs V_M can be pointed discreetly at the sherry and told to go forth and entertain. 4. I'll make Bill Oddie cry which is no bad thing. 5. They are practically illegal immigrants. So - six figure grid please and I'm also taking orders.