When youve had drink, staggered back, now youre hungry....

#1
........and there is cack-all of any substance to eat - what do you do?

By this stage, you've already bought and eaten (mostly) the Kebab, L1A2...........but still you need FOOD.

Usually, the recognised means of provender are in place...........but not necessarily in the quantaties and sub-divisions you might reasonably expect.

To start this one off............bad night on the Second-To-Last Discharge Lash-Up. The cupboard was bare except for............Crumpets, Lard and salad cream.

Mmmmnnnh...........at 0200? Nectar!!

At 0930? It leaves an after taste much as I would imagine toothpaste and Diptheria should.

And next up....................
 
#2
Two sachets of Chili sauce from your Microwave Kebab overflow reserve stash Sarnie. One half packet of Tuc biscuits with portion of Blackberry preserve. Bowl of Rice Krispies with milk made from rehydrated Coffee Mate
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#3
Picallilly sandwiches - It looks like radioactive vomit but tastes great after a few bottles past the 'best before' date! :mrgreen:
 
#4
rake through the bins in the bruggen naafi chip shop (olds when it was still raf)
 
#5
Legs said:
Picallilly sandwiches - It looks like radioactive vomit but tastes great after a few bottles past the 'best before' date! :mrgreen:
Wunh?? I thought EVERYbody had them when rat-bummed :? ???
 
#6
Marmite straight out of the jar - but only when 'proper-p1ssed'!!!
 
#7
tomato sauce on stale bread.Or was that the kebab?
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#8
dog_soldier said:
Marmite straight out of the jar - but only when 'proper-p1ssed'!!!
...or spread with a finger on a lump of cheddar cheese. Yum!!
 
#10
If you come home absolutely battered and forgot to call in for some dogshiete in a slipper aka small doner everyting on - then I would have to plump for the inexpertly cooked frozen fish finger sandwich. If you find it too charred on the outside but still frozen on the inside just cover it in ketchup and you wont notice it so much. However you're are vitually guaranteed the explosive shietes the next day and your fishy stink finger will have you trying to remember if you pulled or not

I have in the past completely fooked a frying pan by having a battle with a particularly difficult pack of bacon and rather than remove the plastic packaging and fry the slices individually to perfection I slapped the whole thing in the pan and toddled off to bed to leave my housemates to clear up the resulting mess of welded plastic and pig flesh and squealing smoke alarm.
 
#11
The peanuts left over from christmas to provide substance to the anal explosion shortly following.
 
#12
The obvious solution is to train the wife/partner etc to wait up for when you stagger in and produce the full monty fry up for you.
 
#13
Naafi at Leuchars. early 80's. Only thing left in the machines. Danish blue cheese rolls and a plastic cup of Bovril. Still makes me want to hurl after all these years
 
#14
OSACIN said:
The obvious solution is to train the wife/partner etc to wait up for when you stagger in and produce the full monty fry up for you.
Mine would eat it, the fat munter!
 
#15
I always keep a gallon jar of dill pickles in the fridge for such occasions. Pretzels are alright, and go well with a belly full of beer.
 
#16
supernoodles, there is always a pack around somewhere, try not to fall asleep before you have finished cooking them. if you fall asleep eating them itll always go down well for breakfast
 
#18
YANK60 said:
What's marmite?
Dog sh1t mixed with molasses and bag ladies dandruff, liquidised and put in a jar.
 

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