When your women turns down sex...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Disco, Dec 19, 2004.

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  1. I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    For example, one evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

    Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!"

    I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

  2. Absolutely brilliant, Thanks mate I will be sending that one to my ex wife, who now with her toy boy are both sitting on the dole!!!!!!!! And oh how she misses me and my wallet.......... :twisted: :twisted:
  3. Awesome! That's brilliant! :D
  4. The question is: would she shag you gladly if you bought all that stuff?

    No, I could never understand the whole Mars vs Venus thing either. Nor my ex-boyfriend's "You only want me for sex!"
  5. superb!!!!!

    i didn't see the punchline coming for once and just spat coffee all over my monitor you barstewart you lol

    well done!

  6. Brilliant. Give that man a medal. :)

    Don't go down that route. Once it's been established paying for shopping = sex, you're going to be having a very expensive sex life from now on.
  7. The word that I wanted to emphasise is GLADLY. I mean, is shopping a good enough proof of emotional connection? It's got to be painful enough as it is, walking around the department store with your wife, looking at some useless outfits. I think it's almost as bad as taking your wife to a football match, or at least making her watch it on the telly (provided she's not a major fb fan).
  8. I have to admit, it was slightly amusing. . . . :wink:

    Bet she didn't let you get away with it though. Guys always talk so big, but when it comes down to it, they're quivering boys in front of the women who really hold the power.
  9. Gado, go to www.owk.cz - is this what you're on about?
  10. And how are u finding walkin with the aid of crutches eh :wink:

    Very funny though - didn't see that coming. :lol:
  11. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    True Gado, very true.

    Sex is like the tv remote control.

    Whoever controls the box, has the ultimate power.

  12. 8) Something like that yes. Apparently I need some more practice though, any volunteers?

    Disco, you had any sex since?
  13. i'm available :wink:
  14. OMG, cc - did you actually go to that site?!
  15. no i didn't, just offering to volunteer for gado :wink: