When the Squaddie met Royalty

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by diehard57, Mar 20, 2008.

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  1. Seeing the thread about HM The Queen (God Bless 'er) visiting Norn Ireland made me think about a couple memories of when her hairy successors met her boys.....

    London Regiment Colours Parade 1997 - Prince Andrew asks London Irish full screw what he does in civvy street. 'I drive a bus Sir' 'Oh!' says Andy 'Which one?' 'Those big red ones....'

    Prince Charles to Cpl Murphy on the official opening of Brent Cross shopping centre in 1980 - 'I see you have the (Silver) Jubillee Medal - when did you get that?' - 'When your Mum done 25 years on the throne Sir'

    As the man said - you really had to be there, but any others in a similar vein?
  2. On a similar theme, t'was driving across the courtyard at Eton school many years ago in a bright yellow 12 ton trucky type thing, easy not to notice then. A herd of chinless wonders came mincing across in fron of me, all top hats and tails like a cheap Dickensian novel. I try revving the engine and edging my way forward to try to hurry the inbred freaks along to no avail when there is a little tippity tap at my window. A rather nails looking chappie with a few similar looking tubs of muscle quietly inform me that if I continue to try to run over the second in line to the throne they would be forced with extreme reluctance to give me a proper shoeing. Obviously they used much more polite wording but the thoughts were the same.
    Handbrake on and engine at tickover until the stampede passes.
  3. My father (who was in the Scouts a few rows away) maintains that he was in hearing distance of the exchange between the Queen and Robert Quigg VC.

    HMQ: "end what did you do efter the war?"

    Quigg VC: "I was snedding turnips for Johnny Forsythe up the Ballycastle line Ma'am"

    Edited for clarity.
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2016
  4. I did hear a duty rumour of "yer man" Charlie meeting a 22 year RM full screw on some random parade, the said fella only had a few medals on his no2's so the prince (who by the way had a full chest of gold and silver coins with a multitude of colours) asked why he had so few, to which came a bitter reply "At least I earnt all of mine, sir!"... A sharp intake of breath from the RSM followed his witty comment...
  5. Late 70's - Her maj (gawd bless her) Inspects shiny vehicles and Driver's with police outriders in quadrangle, Buck palace.
    Then moves on to talk to wives/families......big mistake! Wife 3 on list proceeds to inform her Maj that her married quarter was in Shite state(exact words), still waiting for it to be decorated, And that her old man was working to many hours and not paid enough! Could she have a word with someone about it? :lol: Picture C.O. , R.S.M. and royal flunkeys faces :x Gotta say many thought she was a hero :D
  6. A colleague was at the Palace to be presented with a gong by Prince Charles. It was during Op Fresco and HRH asked him which part he played in it. "I get to switch on the siren sir"............
  7. Queens Birthday Bash or one of them type functions, Horse Guards Parade, 1989-90 or somewhere around then. Me and my staffy stagging on Whitehall side of the gates with the explicit instruction that NO-ONE comes through those gates! For those who don't know, these are (or were) solid wooden gates with a distinct lack of transparency!

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there? (No, it's not one of them)

    Open the door. We need to come through.

    Sorry, my orders are that no-one is to come through these gates.

    Come on, it's Wing Commander Ponsonby-Smythe-Fcukwit III. Open up.

    I'm very sorry, sir, but I have explicit instructions that no-one is to come through these doors.

    Look, don't mess around. We need to come through immediately. Who is this?

    Staffy now getting irate - Staff Sergeant B******. And I told you SIR that I have my orders that NO-ONE is to come through the gates.

    Staff B, this is Wing Commander P-S-F III and we need to come through NOW!

    Sir, this is simple, I have my orders and I don't know or care who you are (and he really didn't). Now fcuk off! (and he did say just that!)

    Five minutes and one mass panic later and the gate was opened from our side by others who arrrived from the sidelines to let through the gate Wing Comander P-S-F III who turned out to be the PA (or whatever they're called) to the Queen Mum, accompanied by HRH Queen Mum, who had apparently been stood alongside him throughout the exchange.

    Doh! :D
  8. 1993 when Prince Charles came to Aldergrove in his capacity as Col in Chief AAC. He was shown where the groundies resided and a Scottish cpl who was nco ic groundcrew asked him how his wife and children were. Cue the RSM spitting feathers.
  9. Last June there were 6 of us getting presented our Afghanistan OSMs from Phil the Greek who had the following conversation with my mate stood next to me.

    Phil - So what happened to you?
    Mate - I got shot in the head sir.
    Phil - Ah missed the brain then?

    Guess you had to be there....
  10. :clap:
  11. Brock Bks reading 2 wessex
    Phil on a walk round after a parade
    phil - cpl i see you have some medals
    cpl- yes sir
    phil- and what is that one for
    cpl- for killing arges
    phil - aarrr , and a quickly moved on
  12. Several years ago, just after the Queen mum had choked and nearly carked it on a fishbone, an Engineer field squadron were putting in a footbridge on a public footpath at Balmoral as a MACC task/swan/pish up when the old dodder pitches up on site with her hangers on, including the OC and badge of the aforementioned squadron.

    She has the task politely explained to her, and then to the horror of the OC asks to "speak to the boys"

    As she approaches, one of the sappers looks up from his shovelling, straightens his back and asks bluntly

    "alright love, 'ows yer froat?"

    Queue OC and badge having quiet thrombo's behind her and envisaging spending the rest of their careers in the tower...
  13. Knew one lad who stagging on in two's at some visit/event at tidworth/bulford in 1992 who when spoken snottily by Price Edward (the queer one) told him to do one and at least he passed out of basic :D
  14. In the aftermath of the Boxing Day Tsunami(lots of death and destruction etc...), Prince Charles visits one of the RN's shiny war canoes. Gets introduced to various members of the ships company and exchanges the usual chit chat.

    Gets to me, and asks a perfectly sensible question:

    Charles: How did you find Sri Lanka then young man?

    Me: Awesome sir, one of the best nights out I've had in ages!

    In my defence it truly was brilliant, did the whole disaster relief bit for a few weeks. Then scooted round to Colombo for a spot of R&R, went ashore at 1200 and didn't get back until 0630 the next morning, having had a whale of a time. One of the highlights was driving a tuk tuk around at speed whilst my wing man hung out the back shooting beggars with a BB gun! And some random goings on in a house of ill repute, we got chucked out when another oppo glanced the wrong way at the proprietors dog. Ah happy memories.
  15. Bn on public duties in LONDIST. Bloke on stag outside his pill box overlooking the Long Walk in Windsor. Phil the Greek comes out to take a walk around the garden.

    Phil the Greek: Ahh, so what regiment are you from?

    Bloke: Yours sir.

    Phil the Greek: Ahh... (exit left).