When one chainsaw just isnt enough...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by auscam, Apr 13, 2010.

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  1. Neighbour admits to double chainsaw attack

    A TREE-LOPPER attacked the home of neighbours with a chainsaw, damaging walls and destroying furniture, after he suspected they were spreading rumours about him, a court heard.
    When one chainsaw ran out of fuel, Allan Baird got another and continued the attack before calmly waiting for police to arrive.

    Baird, 34, of Gordonvale in north Queensland, faced Cairns Magistrates Court yesterday charged with burglaries and wilful damage over the incident last Thursday.

    In what magistrate Allan Comans described as "bizarre" behaviour, Mr Baird threatened inhabitants at the Gordonvale residence with the chainsaw, damaging walls, electrical equipment and sawing a lounge chair in half. He terrified a woman seeking refuge in the toilet by forcing a chainsaw into the door, and at one point went to his work truck parked two doors away to get a second chainsaw.

    Following the incident, Mr Baird was so calm police mistook him for a resident of the house.

    "He sat there calmly and when the police arrived he told them, `I'm the one you are looking for, I did this'," defence solicitor Steve Carter told the court.

    Mr Carter said his client intended to plead guilty.

    He said the incident occurred after Mr Baird confronted the neighbours, who had lived two doors away from him for 10 years, after hearing they had been spreading rumours about him.

    When the occupants of the house, who had been drinking heavily, became abusive, Mr Baird went home to fetch his chainsaw. He was granted bail to reappear on May 12.


    Stylish, in a troppo sort of way. He could hardly have pleaded not guilty, could he? All together now...

    'Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours...'
  2. From what I can gather from my rellies, spread across the Antipodes in some sort of Yorkshire diaspora, Neighbours is bollox.

    Good drills, though.
  3. It is indeed, but could any soap opera compare with something like that? :)
  4. If you're asking about Dope Operas, you're asking the wrong bloke.

    Unless it's "Emmerdale - a true story of honest Yorkshire folk". That's more of a documentary.
  5. Surely more of an oxymoron? :)
  6. Soft Southern Shandy drinking blah blah :D
  7. Thank you, FourEM. I refuse to lower myself into a debate (ha!) with an ex-BAT on the merits of docudrama in providing a moral compass to the populace.
  8. Are you related to the Dingles?
  9. I find it reassuring that my countrymen resort to such uncompromising tools in their quest for self-expression and survival.

    Take Wombat Boy of a few days back. Admittedly, his worldly goods had been vaporised by a bushfire, but when pitched headlong into wombat combat, what did he have handy? An axe.

    So too in this case. The Sawdust Avenger feels slighted, so does he restrict himself to just one chainsaw? Does he risk accusations of bourgeois effeminacy?

    Pig's arse he does.

    He has two hands, and two chainsaws, so he uses them.

    I'm proud of them.
  10. I refer my honourable colleague to my previous answer, posted just above his. :)
  11. Am I talking to you or is the whippet posting on your behalf? :)
  12. this bloke has obviously made an elementary mistake. If your going to get bladdered and cut up your neighbours house with your chainsaw...ensure that you fill the fuel and oil tanks before you start...you just can't get the staff these days.....FAIL :twisted:
  13. Lizzie Borden surely :?
  14. Was she in it as well?
  15. Her role was axed to make way for an eco-town.