When I kark it...

#1
It won't be long The lad has hidden the pliers and knitting needles. Fucker.

OK, open casket, volllyvents and cheese and pickle on sticks. Oh and egg banjos..

Bit of Bazzer, shit loads of Wham and Sugababes, and sausages.

How do you want to go?
 
#3
sex and drug induced heart attack. bit obvious really but im a simple man with simple needs.
 
#4
Quietly and painlessly if possible. Thank you.
 
#7
With the cries of my victims ringing in my ears and the approaching sirens in the distance.

Actually, I just fancy going in my kip while letting out a loud audible stinky trump.
 
#8
Just quietly grip my arsehole tight for the last time and be dumped in next doors wheelie bin, goodbye cruel doris I hope that milk flogging bastard treats you worse than I did.
 
#9
I'll be angry when I kark it and I'll haunt the fuck out of the lot of you.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
out with a bang, six hours after I service the boiler badly.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#12
It won't be long The lad has hidden the pliers and knitting needles. Fucker.

OK, open casket, volllyvents and cheese and pickle on sticks. Oh and egg banjos..

Bit of Bazzer, shit loads of Wham and Sugababes, and sausages.

How do you want to go?
so we all turn up looking for the coffin but seeing an 80s disco and a casket full of food instead.

its a bit harsh when we get to the bottom of the scran and find you doing the twiglet dance in your wedding dress isnt it?

still I know you wanted a bosom so the cheesy-pineapple hedgehogs get a double purpose
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandad.

not screaming in terror like the passengers on the bus he was driving...
 
#16
At an advanced age of sexual exhaustion. Aggravated by anaphylactic shock brought on by my gold allergy.
 
#19
It won't be long The lad has hidden the pliers and knitting needles. Fucker.OK, open casket, volllyvents and cheese and pickle on sticks. Oh and egg banjos..Bit of Bazzer, shit loads of Wham and Sugababes, and sausages.How do you want to go?
Knitting needles????Just have the sprog and have it adopted! MUCH safer!!
 
B

Boozy

Guest
#20
Depends when I go really.

If I have to go now, while I'm young I want to go out instantaneously without knowing about it in a freak accident of some kind - snowboarding accident, skiing accident, tightrope walking the grand canyon and falling off, that sort of thing.

If I die when I'm old then I'd like to finally crack at the age of 90 and go postal, lugging my little tartan shopping trolley into the shopping centre concealing my little uzi and an arsenal of assorted weapons. I would then set about picking off every little ginger bastard I can find while cackling evily. I'll slot some chavs while I'm at it. I'll finally die after a 6hour mini ginger massacre when I run out of ammo and take a headshot from a ginger plod. The barstewards.

Alternatively quietly in my sleep dreaming of something nice and unginger.

See all this bollocks about people not wanting folk to cry at their funeral? Fuck that! I want men crying hysterically at my death and weeping over my coffin fighting each other over who loved me most!
 
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