When do you flush?

Toilet habits of the No.2 variety - Arsser survey

  • Dump, flush then dress

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Dump, dress then flush

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
Back in the late 70's a bunch of very board tankies were looking to make a radical discovery. Discussion in the brew room had centered on a basic principle, which had up until that point, been practiced by all of us often - but never been discussed in public.

After dumping do you flush first then dress or dress first then flush?

This puzzle perplexed around 30 of said bored members of 3 RTR, until one bright spark came up with an idea to find out, by means of a randon sample.
A red smoke grenade was duly strapped to the flush (high wall mounted), in one of two traps at the far end of the hanger. Those in the same troop were primed of the experiment - the others were less fortunate.

All eyes were on said trap, when a well build Cpl tankie from 16 Tp saunred into the traps. As he did about 30 chaps formed a perfect horseshoe around the enterance to the bogs. A few minutes later, there was a loud 'pop', followed by a whoosh, and red smoke billowed out of the bogs..... followed closely by said Cpl from 16 Tp with his coveralls and grundies round his ankles, shouting all sorts of obsenities!! - RESULT!

Still, that particular experiment, with a sample of one, only proved that he flushed before dressing, whereas discussion in the bar on this subject seems to indicate a greater than average number of people do it the other way around. The experiment has only ever been centered on dumping, and no attempt has been made to assess peeing by either the femail of the species order of actions, or indeed those chaps who sit first thing in the morning 'cause they're still too asleep to stand.

So fellow arrsers, lets draw this 25 year old experiment to a close. Do you:

a) Dump, flush then dress
b) Dump, dress then flush

or are there even more elaborate sequences which the experiment failed to appreciate such as sh!t, flush, stand, dress, brush then flush again!




push down hard to form seal,


unleash hell on earth,







degunge nutsack, back of legs, lower back (where seal failed) , underside of seat and surrounding walls


limp back to pit ... spin on heels half way and repeat.

this was me ..... last week ...... all week. :D
Goose_Rider said:
Never heard of concurrent activity ?

(c) Flush, drop one into the surf, check-wipe, exit.

... doesn't even touch the sides ...
Have to add to this post that many moons ago, a childish but bloody funny prank was to get the two foam packets (in powder form) out the QM (Tech), these were for use in the old style cream coloured army foam extinguishers, when mixed together with water, foam is generated.. anyhow... jonny storeman was happy to dish these out as he thought you was a very nice man making sure the extinguishers were up to date...Anyway.... into trap1..check that the Cistern wasnt leaking (not even a little bit)... one packet in top Cistern, one packet in the shitter... lid down... go and sit in trap 4, and wait.

In comes Jack Snooks, lid up, looks in, thinks...oh..its got some sort of powder in it, flush...2 gallons of foam explodes out of the shitter like a mini volcano...Snooks runs out screaming...sit in trap 4..Dasterly Dog type laugh...wait till next wek...Go to QM (etc etc)

It worked better if Snooks goes in, lid up, arrse on seat, dumps, wipes, checks back blast is clear, admires dump... as he flushes, you know the rest....
There is psychological pressure to exit as soon as possible after the flush. I would suggest dressing first. Otherwise, people may suspect you are lingering in the cubicle waiting for some c0ck. :twisted:



Lift loo seat



Walk out



Drink more Guiness!
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