My old man is tremendously proud of his veteran’s badge (as well he should be). Apparently, and he’s not very precise about this due to the fact that he’s now about 170, but the bare bones are accurate.... he had to apply to the MOD, provide his service number, details of his service and OC (someone called Vespasian apparently) etc, etc.This 'serving' lark is really not my thing to be honest, and I don't consider myself to be a 'veteran' either.
All a bit toutchy-feely, for my tastes.
I was 'in', and now I am an ex squaddie.
Sitting in a cafe yesterday he pointed out that a nearby security guard also had a veteran’s badge and must therefore be a decent and trustworthy fellow. I was on my phone at the time, either texting a terribly loose woman or posting on Arrse, (both as immoral as the other*) and quietly mumbled half under my breath “Amazon Dad”. He spat out a mouthful of his tiny £3 latte (which was most of it) and said “WHAT???”.
Still only half listening I said “the internet Dad, anyone can buy them”. He was now spluttering and the coffee was history, so I left the slut/Arrse hanging, went onto the Amazon app and found a selection of Veterans badges, all under three quid and showed him the screen. His face went from bright red to white in seconds as he realised that some of the old fellows that he had nodded knowingly to in the streets may have been (spit) Walt’s and not possible fellow veterans of past wars.
I felt bad for a while, but his colour returned with gusto when he discovered, on the same Amazon page, that he could buy a VC for about twelve quid.
*Thinking long and hard about this I’ve decided that it must have been Arrse. I don’t know any loose women.