Wheelspins

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Mighty_doh_nut, Feb 6, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Its documented in a couple of threads that I have a particular blackspot on the M6 which has seen me fill my pants three times now, so passing Charnock Richard service station has me driving passed with clenched cheeks, a sweaty brough and a sense of dread.

    Driving back yesterday and seeing the sign post getting closer I began to giggle about previous times when I'd fallen prey to the bum lords and blown mud in my pants. No chance this time, I'd had a dump at Keele and I'd only had two weetabix and a twister lolly all day.

    A small salute as I passed under the flyover, and the knowledge that home is only 20 minutes away I turned up the wireless, turned off the mobile and raised my left bum cheek to let fly a small biscuit of musky treat

    That cnuting junction got me yet again, a trickle of fizzy gravy filled the crack of my apple and I had to sit back in it.

    When I got home I walked to the bathroom like I'd had by boll0x flogged with nettles and peeled of my undercrackers.... they looked like Barry sheen and evil Kneivel had been donutting on them.

    I've taken a picture for you all to enjoy

    [​IMG]

    I was going to tip up at Fluffybunny's wake for a beer, but I'm sure he'd understand that I couldn't, I'd shat my pants.

    I am prepared, if someone is prepared to cough up enough gelt for the current holiday campaign to post them to a person / celebrity or MP of their choice
     
  2. MDN i think its about you started to try this exercise:
    bum strengthening clicky
    and invest in these to make your journey safer:
     

    Attached Files:

  3. MDN you fatehrless, I have just drenched my PC, and have an office full of strange looks.....absolute classic!
     
  4. Time for the incontinence pants, MDN. Just accept that its an age thing.


    BTW, I'm due for a Charnock Richard drive-by next week. I'll let you know if its a brown-spot for me, too.
     
  5. I can't call it a full anal unload like the other three times, but definately a spillage. Spillsoil however wouldn't help. The heat emitting from my 'warm through driving' rectum had the skids spread and dried to a musky crust by arrival back at Zero's location
     
  6. MDN - Pure quality :D

    I have written to the Highways agency to get Anti Skid coating at J28 in case that helps.

    We had a few Beers for JD at the wake anyway.
     
  7. MDN, sorry to ask this, but is your choice in undercrackers just a teeny bit gay? :?
     
  8. Dunno mate, Next shreddies 4 pairs for 12 quid

    No point spending fortunes on them as I fart them through, lose them or bin them due to being too idle to wash them

    Besides, if they are questionable, I more than make up for it by shitting in them :D
     
  9. Thought you got yours second hand from the local old folks rest home?
     
  10. Glad to see even an old sh!tehawk like MDN can still remember and impliment the 4th marksmanship principle :wink:
     
  11. Nice one! That really embodies the word of command "Show the movement..."
     
  12. I'm not so sure he had much in the way of control of his movement.
     
  13. Shit happens....................















    Coat, taxi
     
  14. But not without a movement order :lol: