Whats your wanking to actual sex ratio?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Chimpy., May 15, 2007.

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  1. Be honest now! How much wanking do you do compared to actual sex? I reckon I do about 40 times more wanking than sex. That is fourty wanks to every shag. So my ratio is 40:1. Pretty deppressing but then again I'm in a long term relationship so constant sex is a distant memory for me.

    Anyone here actually have sex more than they masturbate?
  2. 40 wanks per shag is a little on the high side even if you are quite young.

    Either you are a serious w*nker and milk the bull more than twice a day which is remarkable, or you don't get laid a lot! As a married man I don't get laid alot either but if I was to have 40 w@nks for every shag I would be on 40-80 wanks per week (sad reflection) that is 6-11 wanks per day! My right arm would be like arnold swarcheneger's and my john thomas covered in blisters!

    I would not like to be your corimec buddy!

    Even though this thread is very funny it is as much use as the farts to shits ratio thread posted recently!
  3. I w@nk about 3 times a day. I bone my mrs probably once a fortnight.

    So 3 wanks in 14 days is 42 wanks. Very occasionally I only w@nk twice a day and so I rounded it down to 40 wanks in 2 weeks.
  4. That is very modest of you rounding down from 42 to 40! You are a selling yourself short of two hard earned wanks!
  5. I never miss my third one, and likewise get "it" once every fortnight therefore I am at 42:1!
  6. I knock out one or two a day, and last had my leg over at Easter.

    Going off that, my ratio has to be close to the odds of Lord Lucan riding shergar to Elvis's comeback gig.
  7. Got you beat there matey, considering my ex was a frigid uptight fecker (one of the reasons she's my ex) its been a while, in fact Im hitting close to my army number:1 at the mo. :cry:
  8. Get it off the woman probably four times a week. Batter my purple headed monster into submission probably twice a day when not getting it, so 6:4 or 3:2. I think that's pretty fcuking good.
  9. oh dear ... away at the mo so my ratio is about 10,000-2 ( on tour shag ratio) not uk based... it's higher ;)
  10. Ahh sex, yes I rememer that..........

  11. Was ambling along at about 14:1 with the Mrs till i met a nubile 30 year old cracker, with her own place and an insatiable apetite for it. so now im nearer 2:1 and loving every minute. Did i mention she is also a 34 EE, and has no gag reflex (forcespenpals - god bless you!)
  12. You mean wanking isn't actual sex!!
  13. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    What? You can do it with a woman? That is disgusting. Or so my missus tells me.
  14. No gag reflex - that's no fun, a throat fcuk isn't worth doing unless they blow chunks over your hampton.

    As I live away from home during the week my current ratio is about 4:2, but I'm getting married on Saturday so I expect a rise to 1 or 2:14 for the duration of the honeymoon before a rapid fall to around 13:1 once we get back and the nagging starts.
  15. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Bat_crab;getting married on Saturday

    Ok, it's not too late! Send us the details and we will organise a rescue. You have to move quickly though, since the rain has affected the zimmer frames of the Special Hostage Intervention Team ( S.H.I.T) But we can deprogram you, help you live a normal and useless, feckless and wasteful life. Again.

    edited for crap spelling and apathy.